Life Is Tough When You're Gay
by charl88
Summary: Troy struggles to cope once he comes out and decides the only way he can get away from it all is to run away. But he soon finds himself in a way of life that he didnt even consider. But is Ryan able to pull him back to the real world? Tryan
1. Prologue

**Title**: Life is hard when you're gay

**Summary**: Troy discovers the consequences of coming out and struggles to cope with life but Ryan is there beside him whenever things get too bad. Tryan

**Pairing**: Troy x Ryan

**Rating**: 'M' for Swearing, Sex, Alcohol and Drug Abuse and Self Harming

**Author's Notes**: Well people said that they wanted a sequel so here it is. Updates for this will probably be short because I have to plan it because I wasn't expecting to do a sequel but I had the idea for all those who read my story and told me how good it was. I wasn't planning this till after Christmas but I thought I would start it before as a Christmas present to all of you, so read and enjoy and don't forget to review.

**THIS IS THE SEQUEL TO CONFESSIONS OF A TEENAGE PLAYMAKER. PLEASE READ THAT BEFORE THIS SO YOU KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING.**

**Prologue**

Ryan P.O.V

"_**I am so sorry for all the hurt and the pain that I have caused you and I ask you to take me back. Please" the look that is in his eyes is the look of love and I know that he wouldn't do all this if he didn't love me. I can't resist him. I have to say yes**_

"_**Yes Troy I do forgive you"**_

_**He pulls me into a hug and I can hear him crying. I hug him back and smile. I can't believe that this is happening. It feels like a dream. I have never been happier and I don't care about what happens in the future. As long as we have each other we can get through this.**_

_**He pulls back and looks at me smiling "I love you Ryan Evans"**_

"**_I love you to Troy Bolton" I manage to say before he pushes his lips up against mine and kisses me. We ignore the "Eww's" and screams that were coming from the audience; all that cared was me and Troy. We deepened the kiss and stayed like that for what seemed like hours._**

I couldn't believe it Troy had actually kissed me in front of the entire body of East High. I didn't care what people were saying I just kissed him like nothing or no one was around us. The world was ours and nothing could stop that

"Troy what the hell do you think you're doing?"

Well that could. It was Jack Bolton, Troy's dad and the East High Basketball team coach. He had left his seat and was making his way towards Troy. I pulled away and whimpered behind Troy. I could see that his father was extremely pissed off and his fist was clenched.

He walked upto Troy and grabbed him by the shoulders "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I love him dad" Troy whispered. He was scared. I could tell. I could hear it in his voice and I hated it. I didn't want Troy to be scared because it hurt me. This was all my fault.

"You are not a fucking fag Troy, what has he done to you?" I couldn't believe that Coach Bolton was accusing me of doing this to Troy. I wish I was stronger for Troy I really could. But I'm not and it makes me ashamed.

"Yes I am gay dad, deal with it" Troy snapped pushing his father off him. I looked around and saw that everyone was staring. Why did this have to happen now? In front of all these people?

"Get home. NOW" he growled. Troy grabbed my hand and left the gym. When he was outside the gym he cried. I held him tight in my arms "Troy I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry" I could feel his body grinding against mine as he wanted to be closer to me, and I didn't mind.

"It's not your fault Ry. Don't blame yourself" but I do blame myself. I blame myself for everything that has just happened. I know that I shouldn't but I cannot help it. He pulls back from me slightly and looks at me, his eyes all red and puffy from the crying.

"I love you so much Ry"

"I love you too Troy. Always" that made him smile, which made me smile. I love Troy smiling I find nothing happier than seeing my boyfriend happy.

"I better go home. I'll call you later" he was shaking. I was dreading what would happen when he got home. I wish that I could go home with him, but that would just make things worse than they already are and I don't want that to happen.

I just nodded the reply. He gave me a quick kiss and then made his way back to the car. I watched him with tears forming. I was so scared about what happened. I needed to do something about this. I couldn't let him take all the hurt and the pain.

I heard the car spin away and made my way back to my own car. I opened up the glove compartment (though I don't keep gloves there) and saw something glistening in the sun.

I picked it up and lifted up my sleeve. I had stopped this the other week. Troy had made me promise to stop saying that it wasn't the way to go, but I couldn't stand the hurt and the pain that he was having. This would make things better. I lifted the blade upto my wrist and sliced it across.


	2. Daddy Don't Hurt Me

**Title**: Life is hard when you're gay

**Summary**: Troy discovers the consequences of coming out and struggles to cope with life but Ryan is there beside him whenever things get too bad.

**Pairing**: Troy x Ryan

**Rating**: 'M' for Swearing, Sex, Rape, Alcohol and Drug Abuse and Self Harming

**Author's Notes**: Here is chapter 1 for ya'll. Thanks to Tryanistique, Mondler4ever, XEMOXQUEENX, Picky and Paranoid:-d, Master Aneliath, Christina, L Kerr, Startofsomethingnew, piperandleoluva, sammy riddle, jsrgansta and hopewithinmymind for reviewing.

**Disclaime**r: You're joking right?

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Troy Bolton made his way home in his car slowly. He wished that Ryan was there beside him, holding his hand and telling him that everything is okay. But he wasn't. He really hoped that Ryan would have said that he would have come but he wasn't. Maybe Ryan knew that going with Troy would only make things worse and thinking about Troy knew that he would have been right. Troy's father would have only hurt Ryan for being there so Troy was actually thankful that Ryan hadn't come along with him. He didn't want Ryan to see the person that his father could become. **He** didn't want to see the person that his father could become. Again. It scared him to see that side of his father.

Still he needed the support. He knew what his father could be like. And right now he wasn't happy which meant that Troy was going to get an earful. Plus a whole lot more if his dad was really pissed off. He pulled up outside his house and nervously went inside. "Troy?" he heard his dad shout. _God this is_ _it_ he thought. He didn't know what**_ IT_** was but he knew that it was going to be bad. He thought about not going to his father and just turning back and driving off somewhere. Somewhere that his father didn't know about. Somewhere that he and Ryan could be alone and not have anyone telling them whether or not they could be together. But he decided against that. He knew that it would only really make things worse. So he took a deep breath and went to his father. He felt the sweat that was beginning to drip from his forehead. He could see the rage that were in his father's eyes as he was walking towards him in the gym and he knew that his father wasn't going to be the caring Jack Bolton that everyone knew. Oh no Troy knew the **_REAL_** Jack Bolton. And he had a feeling that he was about to see him again.

"Y-Yeah dad?" he said nervously going to his father. He could feel his knees buckle beneath him and he had to hold onto the table for support. He hated the fact that his father caused him to feel like this. He hadn't been hit by his father in years and he hoped that he wouldn't be hit now but he had a feeling deep down that he would. The anger that he could see told him that his father was about to revert back to his old self.

"What the fuck happened in the gym?" his father shouted. He had his fists clenched and his blood was pumping. Troy wished that his mother was here because then his father wouldn't be able to do this. She had been able to stop him before by dragging him off and then sending him to rehabilitation but where was she now? What would she do when she thought out that her son, her prized possession, the thing that she most proudest of, was gay? Would she react like his father or would she understand?

"I er.." Troy started. He couldn't find the words. He had wanted to talk but as soon as he opened his mouth he could feel a lump form at the back of his throat. _Oh No_ he thought. This only made things worse. His dad didn't like it when he didn't reply, even when he wasn't like this.

"You're a fucking fag aren't you?" he banged his fist hard onto the table. Troy begun to get scared. He hadn't seen this side of his father in about 5 years and it completely scared him. He really wished that Ryan was here now, he needed the comfort. He backed away from his father slightly, which wasn't to be the best idea. His father grabbed him by the jacket and pulled him towards him. Troy still couldn't answer. He couldn't even look at his father.

"Answer me" his father boomed spitting in his face. "Are you a fucking faggot?"

Troy could feel the tears beginning to form at the back of his eyes. He tried to hold them back. He couldn't let his father see him crying. He would call him weak and hurt him even more. He nodded "Yes" he still couldn't look at his father. He couldn't believe that this one little thing could cause his father to revert back to his old self.

_**PUNCH**_

His father punched him right across the face causing Troy to loose his grip on the table and fall to the floor. He put his hand onto his cheek and it felt burning to the touch. He got up weakly and looked at his father who once again raised his fist.

"Please dad don't" Troy pleaded letting the tears form. He hated his father when he was like this. He was now really scared and wished that his mother would come home and make his father stop this. His father once again struck him and he fell back on the floor. He could feel the blood dripping from his nose and he put his hand over his nose to stop the blood from flowing onto the floor. He was also checking that it wasn't broken. It didn't feel it and he sighed with relief. He cried and he didn't care. His father was scaring him and hurting him. Something he promised he would stop doing years ago, but here he was doing the same thing again and not caring at all

"Dad stop please" he tried to hold onto the table but his hand was covered in blood and it caused him to slip and hit his head on the floor. His father stood over him, causing a great big shadow to cover Troy's face and body. Troy closed his eyes hoping that this would all be over soon. But he knew that it wouldn't.

_**Flashback**_

"**_How dare you get drunk. You are only fucking twelve" Jack Bolton screamed at his son hitting him over and over again in the stomach. He was going to teach his son a lesson and he didn't care how. He knew that Troy had done wrong and he knew that Troy knew that he had done wrong, so what better way of punishing him than beating him?. "Have we taught you nothing?"_**

_**Punch**_

**_The anger was streaming through Jack's body. The adrenaline was pumping and he couldn't stop. He knew that it was wrong to be doing this to Troy but he couldn't help it. It felt so good. He needed to teach his son a lesson and he couldn't think of any other way of doing it. _**

_**Punch**_

"**_Dad please. Please don't do this. I'm sorry" Troy pleaded. He was bleeding heavily and he could barely move. "SORRY. SORRY. You're not fucking sorry" Jack screamed as he once again punched Troy. Troy was now beaten all over and he struggled to get up. He needed to get out of there. He couldn't be around his father. At least not now. He had never seen this side of his father before and it scared him. He knew that his father and taken to drinking earlier and he knew that that would cause him to be like this. Jack pulled back slightly and lifted up the bottle of Vodka that was sitting on the table. He took a large swig of it straight from the bottle and slammed it back down. He once again turned back to Troy and raised his fist upto him._**

"**_You're the alcoholic, NOT ME" Troy knew that that was the wrong thing to say as soon as he had said it._**

_**KICK**_

_**His dad kicked him right in the ribs. Troy could feel one of his ribs breaking and he knew that he was going to die unless someone came in and helped him. Luckily at that time his mom came home and pulled Jack off her son and took Troy straight to the hospital**_

_**End Flashback**_

"No Son of mine is going to be a fucking cock sucker" Jack screamed whilst was again hitting Troy. He hadn't felt like this in years and the release that he was getting from the adrenaline was great. He felt great. He wouldn't allow his son to date boys. It was wrong. It wasn't the nature of things. Guys were supposed to date girls. Not other guys.

"Dad why are you doing this? I am still me" Troy splattered through the blood that was forming in his mouth. He could feel it running down the back of his throat and it made him want to gag. He hated the taste of blood. Why couldn't his dad just understand that he was still the same Troy that he was before. He just liked boys instead of girls. Was that really such a crime?

Well apparently to his father it was. His father continued hitting him. Troy tried to scramble away but he couldn't. He couldn't find the energy to move. He couldn't find the energy to speak. He couldn't find the energy to do anything. He just stayed there whilst his father kept hitting him. He felt his father pull away from him at one point and he thought that was the end but it wasn't. His father started to unzip Troy's trousers. 'What the fuck is he going to do' Troy thought. He really was now sweating.

"D-dad" he managed to whisper.

_**Whack**_

His father slapped him and pulled down his trousers. He reached into the drawer and took out a Stanley knife and turned to Troy smiling. "Well if you won't date a woman then I will make you a woman" he pulled down Troy's boxer shorts and held up the Stanley Knife.

'Oh God Troy thought. This is it' he was sweating badly. He needed to get away but he couldn't. He had no feeling in his legs. His father started to bring down the Stanley Knife but was interrupted by a loud cry

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" Alison Bolton screamed running towards Jack and Troy. She grabbed the Stanley Knife away from Jack and knelt down beside her son. She cradled him in her arms and looked at her husband "What the hell are you doing?"

Jack stood up and took a step back looking at what he had done. He started shaking. "He's gay" "And that made you try and hurt him?" Alison couldn't stop crying. Even she was afraid of her husband at the moment. "I – I…" he looked at Troy and started crying "OMG what have I done. I'm so sorry"

"Get out" Alison cried cradling her son further. She didn't care that she was getting blood all over her favourite shirt. She didn't care that she was shaking violently. All she cared about was that she had come home just in time to save her son"

"Alison…" Jack started to walk towards his son but Alison shook her head. She wasn't going to allow her husband anywhere near Troy.

"GET OUT". Jack sighed and left the house. What the hell had he done. He went psychotic on his son and just because he was gay. He hated gay people, there was no doubt about it and he was never going to accept his son but there was no reason to act like that. It wasn't him. That was the Jack that he had gotten ridden of years ago. He hadn't been seen in years. Yet he somehow managed to escape and come back to hurt his son.

Alison stayed in the room cradling Troy "I'm so sorry Hunny" she kept repeating over and over again rocking back and forth. She couldn't let him go. She **_WOULDN'T_** let him go. She was afraid that if she let him go then she would loose him forever.

"Mum I'm going to fine. I just need a bath and some rest" Alison nodded and helped her son up. She noticed the amount of blood that was over Troy and nearly gagged. She, like her son, hated the sight of blood. She helped a very weak Troy upstairs and ran him a bath

"Are you going to be okay" she asked worryingly. Troy nodded. He wasn't but he wasn't about to tell his mum that. He didn't want her to worry more than she already was. I mean how could he be fine when his father had just tried to cut off his manhood because he was having sex with other guys.

He watched as his mum left the room and he started to strip. It hurt to move but he had to. He had to get out of those clothes. He finally managed to get out of the blood stained clothes and he climbed weakly into the bath. The hot water touched the cuts and bruises on his body and he soon realised how bad his dad actually had beaten him.

He washed himself as clean as he could. He scrubbed all the blood off his body. He was beginning to feel a little bit better but he didn't want to get out of the bath. He wanted to drown himself. But he couldn't. What would happen to his mother?. And Ryan

"Ryan" he screamed out. His thoughts ran to the little blonde boy. He couldn't hurt him anymore than he had a while ago. All he wanted right now was Ryan. He needed to hear his voice. He wanted, no needed, to be in his arms. To feel his touch to his skin. To heal him. To make him take all of the pain and the suffering away.

He climbed out of the bath weakly and wrapped a towel around his waist. He went back to his bedroom deciding, that after a nap, he would call Ryan. He went into his bedroom and laid down on his bed. He closed his eyes and instantly fell asleep.

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**Wow was that dark and pshycotic or what. I didn't expect it to turn out like this but all of the ideas kept popping into my head. I think I need to go to a shrink :s. Anyways please review and let me know what you think about this first chapter. xxx**


	3. Realising The Truth

**Title**: Life is tough when you're gay

**Summary**: Troy discovers the consequences of coming out and struggles to cope with life but Ryan is there beside him whenever things get too bad.

**Pairing**: Troy x Ryan

**Rating**: 'M' for Swearing, Sex, Rape, Alcohol and Drug Abuse and Self Harming

**Author's Notes**: Here is chapter 2 for everyone. Thanks to all of those who had reviewed chapter 1. Sorry about the darkness of it this one is a little happier but focuses on Ryan and him reminiscing about when he discovered that he was gay.

**Disclaimer**: Do we have to go through this all the time?­­­

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**Chapter 2**

**Ryan P.O.V**

I slice the blade across my arm. It hurts but I can block out the pain. I have learnt how to ignore the pain that comes with self harming. I know that Troy wouldn't like me doing this and I promised Sharpay that I would stop but I can't. It's like an addiction. I need it. I cannot live without it. When things turn bad then I turn to this. It is an obsession that I cannot get over.

I place the blade down onto the passenger seat and I look at my arm. There is blood dripping across my arm and onto the floor. I shake slightly and I look at the steering wheel. Everything is moving and I know that I need to stop cutting myself. It isn't helping me or helping Troy. I search around in the car and find some paper towels. I place them onto my arms. I try and clean up as much as the blood as I can. I throw the towels out of the window and start the car. I need to get home. I start making my way home and my mind keeps trailing to thoughts of Troy.

'What's happening to him?' I ask myself. I was so worried about him. I didn't know what the hell was happening. I was hoping that Jack and Troy were talking about things and that Jack would accept Troy but I highly doubted that. I couldn't understand why his dad wouldn't accept him. He was still the same Troy as before it was just that he loved men instead of women. Could people really be that cruel?

Wait yes they could. Chad and the guys were like that when I came out. They still are. Troy was the only one who accepted me, well that was because he was like me. Were people really like that because they were afraid that I would try something with them or why they just like that because I was different? Some people didn't like changes and differences.

It is all my fault. This whole situation is all because of me. I was the one who turned Troy gay. I am responsible for Troy being shunned by his friends and family. I was the reason that Troy is getting shouted at by his father. I shouldn't have agreed to go on a date with Troy. If I hadn't then we wouldn't have got together. Then he would have stayed with Gabriella. And maybe he would have fallen back in love with her and he would have realised that what he was feeling for me had passed and that I was just a phase. If it wasn't for me then Troy would be straight by now.

I start to cry as I realise that I am the cause of this whole situation. I wish that I had agreed to go home with Troy. Agreed to face his father with him. But I chickened out. I was a coward. I had left Troy to face his father alone. What would I have been able to do anyways. I wouldn't have been able to stick up for Troy. I wish I could be the strength that Troy needed. I wished that I could be the guy that Troy wanted and needed.

Why did I have to be gay anyways? Did I just wake up one day and God decided to make me gay? I think that life would be easier at the moment if I wasn't gay. Troy wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.

As I drive home I think back to the day that I realised that I was gay.

_**Flashback**_

**_It was the 9th grade and East High Junior High has just won the championship game of soccer. Ryan Evans and his team went into the locker rooms cheering. It was the first time that they had won the championship in three years. They stripped off their dirty soccer clothes and jumped into the showers. Now usually Ryan didn't mind this. They were used to it and they were used to each other. But today, today was different._**

**_Ryan found himself looking at the other guys in the shower. He couldn't help it. He started to notice how attractive they were looking and he couldn't help but stare at them. He noticed how the hot water ran off their bodies and caressed their skin._**

**_He shook his head and tried to concentrate on something else other than the other guys in the shower but nothing worked. His mind kept moving back to the guys in the shower._**

_**He began to feel himself become hard at the thought of the other guys in the shower. He turned around and faced the wall hoping that none of the other guys would notice his 'problem' but they had.**_

**_They laughed "Hey Ryan. What's wrong mate?" Ben shouted at noticing that Ryan's 'problem' was worse. Ryan turned red and didn't say anything. He ran out of the shower, grabbed his clothes and raced off to the toilet. He locked the door and slammed his fist onto the wall._**

"**_What's happening to me" he asked himself. He sat down on the toilet and placed his hand onto his member. He began to slowly stroke his hand up and down thinking about the guys in the shower. His strokes got faster and faster and he soon felt himself climaxing._**

_**From that moment on Ryan knew that he was gay.**_

_**End flashback**_

I pull up outside my house and stop the car. I don't want to go in because if I go in I will feel like I have let Troy down even more. I want to go to his house but I know that that will just make things worse and I don't want things to be any more worse than they already are.

Besides we have to go back to East High tomorrow and that is going to be hard to deal with. I know that people will start to treat Troy like me because he is gay. I don't want that to happen. I couldn't let that happen. Troy is going to be treated like shit and his life is going to go downhill because of me.

I wipe away my tears and pick up the blade. I get out of the car and go into the house. I go straight upstairs and slam my door closed. I need him to call. He promised that he would call me and he hasn't.

Maybe I should call him. No then that would seem like I was desperate. I am desperate. No I'll wait until he calls me. I slump onto my bed and look at the cuts and the grazes on my arm and I sigh. Why do I allow myself to do that? Am I stupid for doing that? Do I do it for release?

The time passes by. Hour after hour and still no call from Troy. Maybe he forget. Maybe he and his dad sorted things out and they went out to talk more and have some food.

I look at the clock and notice that it says 9:48 pm. I am not going to wait any longer for Troy to call. I just hope that I see him at school tomorrow. I lay down on my bed and close my eyes. My thoughts once again running to Troy.


	4. The Machine And Supporting Mother

**Life is tough when you're gay**

**Chapter 3**

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the trees were swaying slightly in the gentle breeze that was shifting through the city. Children could be heard laughing as they made their way down the streets. Parents could be heard telling their children to be careful and not to step out onto the road.

Troy Bolton awoke to the sun shining through his window. He moved groggily in his sleep and moaned slightly. He tried to sit up weakly but he couldn't. A sharp pain shot right through his whole body causing him to wince in pain. He placed his hand upon the side of the bed to stop himself from falling. He moaned softly and laid back down in the bed. He looked around the room and saw that there were light green walls, green curtains and a large comfy green chair in the corner of the room. There was also a bedside cabinet and a machine. Wait, he looked again. A machine. **_BEEP_**. A machine that beeped. He looked down at his body and noticed the little pads and wires that were attached to his skin.

He gulped as he remembered why he was in hospital. He remembered what had happened the night before. He remembered feeling scared, afraid and helpless. He remembered the look that his father had on his voice and he continued to cause him pain. He remembered thinking of Ryan as he beginning to weaken, he remembered seeing the look on his mother's face when she came home and saw what was happening. He remembered being in his mother's arms, he remembered them crying and he remembered his mother telling him that everything was going to be okay. Everything came flooding back to him.

_**BEEP**_

He thought that it was a dream. He thought that none of that had happened. He thought that when he woke up he would be in his house at the breakfast table with his father making them pancakes whilst his mother was sat at the table reading the morning paper. But that wasn't going to happen. All of that was the dream. He wasn't in his house, he wasn't at the breakfast table, his father wasn't making him pancakes and his mother wasn't reading the newspaper. Instead he was laid in a hospital bed attached to a machine that was monitoring his heartbeat. His father had gone, he didn't know where he had gone and to be honest he didn't care. He was just glad that he had gone and he and his mother would be able to move on with their life.

His mother, where was she anyways? He remembered seeing her last room before he had the seizure, holding him tightly in her arms telling him that he is going to be okay and that the ambulance were on their way. He really wanted his mother right now, he didn't want anyone or anything except his mother. He need her to tell him that he was okay and that everything was okay. But she wasn't there, she wasn't there to hold him in her arms and to tell him that everything was okay.

_**BEEP**_

He wished that the beeping would stop because it was beginning to annoy him. He heard the door open and he turned his head to the left hoping that it would be his mother that was walking through the door but it wasn't. It was a middle aged doctor. "Ahhh Mr Bolton I see that you are awake. How are you feeling this morning?" Troy just stared at the doctor as if he had a third eye. Was he being serious? Was he really asking him how he felt? He felt like answering 'Yeah doc I was beaten up by my dad, I nearly lost my manhood, I had a seizure and no I am laying in a hospital bed attached to a machine that is monitoring my heart beat, but yeah I am feeling completely fine. How about you?' but he knew that he couldn't. "I am feeling a little better thanks, weak though"

"Yeah you will be for a while. That's why you should just relax and get your strength back" Troy just nodded his reply. That sounded like a great idea to him. Just stay in bed all day and sleep. To try and forget everything that had happened. The doctor looked at the clipboard that was at the bottom of the bed and nodded as he read over it. "Good news Mr Bolton. It looks like you are going to be okay. All your vital signs are back to normal and your body seems to be responding to the drug" "Drug what drug" "Oh it was just a drug that was inserted into the drip in your arm to help calm your body so that it did not go into shock again and cause you to have another fit"

"Oh. Have you seen my mother"

"Yes your mother is in the canteen having breakfast at the moment" the doctor replied placing the clipboard back onto the end of the bed. Troy sighed with relief slightly. It was good that his mother was in the hospital because it meant that she would probably be back to see him soon.

The Doctor's pager went off and he looked at it. "Sorry Mr Bolton, I must go and check on another patient" Troy nodded "Bye". He watched the doctor leave and then closed his eyes. He felt so tired, so weak. All he wanted to do was sleep. He felt himself drifting off again and his thoughts ran to Ryan. He missed him so much. He needed him here as well. He needed to feel his lips pressed against his, he needed to feel his arms around him, he needed Ryan to hold him. He mumbled Ryan's name as he began to fall asleep.

Troy was in a deep sleep when the door of his room opened. He didn't hear the person walking to his bed, he didn't hear the person sitting down beside him and he didn't hear the person whisper "Hey son".

Troy began to stir when he heard the person speaking. The voice was soft and sweet. It sounded kind of like an angel to him. He knew who the voice belonged to. It belonged to his mother. He opened his eyes fully and turned his head to look at his mother. She smiled at him weakly when she saw that he was awake. She looked tired, there were huge bags under her eyes and she was completely worn out. She had been up all night with Troy to make sure that he didn't go into shock again and have another fit.

"Hey mum" Troy whispered weakly moving his hand closer to hers. "Hey son. How do you feel?" "Not so good" Alison took Troy's hand in her own and held it tightly. She could feel the tears beginning to well at the back of her eyes. "Mum? Mum? Are you okay?" Alison nodded weakly. "Yeah I'm just glad you're okay that's all"

"Mum Dad's gone. He's not coming back" Alison lifted up her head and looked at Troy. How was it he knew what she was thinking about? "We don't know that for sure" "Yes we do mum, because we aren't going to let dad back into our lives. We have to be strong" "Oh Troy" she hugged her son weakly making sure not to hurt him. "I love you so much" "I love you too mum"

For the next few minutes Troy and Alison hugged. Both of them crying. Both of them glad to shed the tears that they have wanted to. Both of the glad to be in each other's arms. Troy was the one who pulled away first "Mum have you told Ryan?" Alison shook her head. "No I haven't. Would you like me to go and call him and let him know?"

"Yes please mum"

Alison got up, gave her son a kiss on the forehead and said "I won't be long" she left the room leaving Troy to watch her walk away. He closed his eyes once again and slept knowing that Ryan would be around as soon as his mother told him what had happened.

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**Sorry about the long wait, I lost my folder with this chapter written up so I had to type it up from scratch. This chapter is nothing how I wrote it lol but hey it worked better than I thought. Please leave a review to let me know what you think xx**


	5. You Look Cute When You're Asleep

**Chapter 4**

Troy was still asleep when Ryan entered the room. He moved slightly and mumbled Ryan's name quietly. Ryan smiled and made his way to his boyfriend's bed. He sat on the chair beside the bed and watched Troy sleep. _'He looks so peaceful'_ he thought to himself as he carefully took Troy's hand in his own and held it tightly trying not to wake Troy up. After a few minutes Troy began to wake. When he noticed Ryan sitting beside him he smiled "Hey babe". "Hey Troy" Ryan smiled back "How long have you been there?" "A few minutes" "Then why didn't you wake me up?" "Because you looked cute sleeping" Ryan replied as he ran his finger across the top of Troy's hand. Troy just laughed "Thanks"

Ryan couldn't keep it in any longer and he knew that they were both thinking it. "I'm so sorry babe" he looked Troy in the eye, wanting to see the hurt and the pain in there so that he could heal him. Make him forget everything that had happened. "Don't be" Troy held onto Ryan's hand harder. "It wasn't your fault" "Yes it was" "How can you say that Ry?" "Because I let you go alone. I shouldn't have let you, I should've gone with you" Ryan was feeling guilty about leaving Troy to go alone but deep down he know that Troy was right when he said that it wasn't his fault. "Ry, you couldn't have done anything even if you were there. My father was just too strong. So please don't blame yourself" "I can't help it" "Well let me change your mind" he smiled seductively as he pulled Ryan closer to him and placed a soft kiss upon his lips. Ryan climbed onto the bed and placed an arm around Troy.

He deepened the kiss and he began to unbutton Troy's gown. When Troy realised what Ryan was doing he pulled away. "Don't" he said calmly trying not to cry. He placed his hands on his gown and started to re-button it. "Baby I am not going to hurt you" "I know I am just scared" "I know you are baby, but you can trust me" Ryan replied softly "I am always going to be here for you. I mean that" Troy nodded and began to unbutton his gown. Ryan couldn't help but gasp and place his hand over his mouth when he saw the scars and bruises that adorned his boyfriend's body. He could feel the tears that were beginning to well up at the back of his throat. Troy looked at the floor, obviously ashamed of the scars that adorned him. "There's nothing to be ashamed of Troy" Ryan kissed him softly. Troy cried. He cried for the first time since the accident. And he cried hard "He nearly killed me Ry. I thought I would never see you again"

Ryan hated seeing Troy this way. It pained him to see his boyfriend being the weak one. Troy was always the strong one but it had been turned around. Ryan was the strong one and he had to be strong for Troy. "Troy you couldn't have done anything. He was a monster" Troy nodded weakly and wiped his tears away "I'm sorry" "Don't be" Ryan pressed his lips against Troy's and placed a soft kiss there. He softly ran his hand over Troy's chest and heard Troy wince in pan. Ryan bent his head lower and pressed his lips to the cuts and kissing them better, taking away all of the pain. Ryan kissed all the way down Troy's chest causing him to moan in pleasure. When Ryan reached Troys "bottom half" he stopped and looked at Troy. Troy nodded "I need the release". So Ryan placed his mouth over Troy's member and began to put force into it as he could feel his boyfriend harden.

After a few minutes Troy allowed his release to flow into Ryan's mouth "Baby" he moaned as Ryan pulled away and moved closer to Troy. Troy smiled weakly "That was great" Ryan smiled back "Yeah it was" "I missed not being able to have you" "It's only been 2 ½ days" "I know but it feels like an eternity" "I know what you mean. After you left I felt so alone and scared until I discovered the raz..." Ryan stopped knowing that he had already said too much. "Please tell me you didn't Ry" Ryan looked away from Troy "Oh Ry. You promised" "I know but I was so scared of what was going to happen and it was there and I just…" Troy placed a finger on Ryan's lips "Shhh it's okay baby" "I promise I will stop Troy" Troy nodded "I know you will" he placed a soft kiss upon Ryan's lips "I love you" "I love you too Troy".

Troy laid back down in the bed and pulled Ryan closer to him. Ryan laid beside him and Troy placed an arm around him, not wanting him to go, wanting to feel safe. "Go to sleep baby I will still be here when you wake up" Ryan told Troy. So that's what he did. He slept and held onto Ryan. Ryan soon fell asleep and the two stayed like that on the bed, wrapped into each other and more peaceful than either had ever been.

* * *

**Soz about the long wait but I have finally updated. This was a very short chapter but I wanted to have a Troy/Ryan and I thought that it worked well and I was happy with the outcome. So please review and let me know what you think. I promise that I will update sooner, but I have tonnes of Coursework that is due in at the end of March so I am doing that as well as lucasgrabeel. co . uk (( please check it out and comment if you would like your fanfiction(s) added to the website)). The next chapter will hopefully be longer and will include Troy going back to school and people's reactions to him and Ryan.**


	6. How Did I Find You?

**Chapter 5**

It had been a week since Troy had been admitted into Albuquerque General and he was now being discharged. He had gotten stronger and stronger each day and the doctors said that he was strong enough to go home. Troy was happy to go home, he missed the comfort of his own bed, he missed the smell of his mums chocolate chip pancakes when he woke on a cold morning. He missed the way that his mother would mess around with his hair trying to get it to flatten but knowing that it wouldn't and that he would always have that piece of hair that flopped over his left eye.

There was one thing however that he wasn't looking forward to. School. Now everybody knew the truth he was scared of how they were going to treat him. No one from school had even come to visit him. 'Some friends' he mumbled to himself. How can they call themselves friends when they cant accept the fact that he is gay? Troy pretended that it didn't matter to him that Chad and Jason didn't visit but deep down it did. It hurt him more than ever. He couldn't believe that they could be so cruel over someone's sexuality.

But he wasn't going to let that bother him. He still had his mother and Ryan. Ryan. That was a name that made him smile and cheered him up. No matter what happened, Ryan was there to comfort him when he was down, to make him smile when he was on the verge of tears, to make him laugh, to hold him in his arms at night. Troy didn't think that he would be able to fall for Ryan anymore, but he has. The last week has made him appreciate Ryan more than he ever could. Ryan stuck to his promises of being there when Troy needed him, he didn't get frightened off by anything that was happening and he told him that he loved him every single day.

Troy finished packing and looked around the room. He was glad that he was leaving the bland room but he was also upset that he was. When he was in the room he was safe. Safe from the outside world. Safe from the mocking, the gestures that were given to people like him. Safe from the people that hated people like him, the people that abused him, mocked him, taunted him, treated him like dirt, threw him away in the gutter, the people that made Troy ashamed to be who he was, to make him feel like he was alone, that the best thing for him to do was to disappear. To leave the world. Troy hated people like that. But that was how the world was like. Full of hate, full of pain, full of petty squabbles. Troy had to leave the safe haven of the grey room and go into the world that would cause him so much pain and so much hurt.

Alison and Ryan walked into the room. "Hey Hunny. Are you ready to go?" Troy nodded and then smiled at Ryan who went and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're coming home babe". Troy hugged him back, holding his arms around Ryan's waist and savouring the moment. "I'm not. What's going to happen with school?" Troy could feel Ryan tensing up as he pulled away from him slowly. He knew that he had brought up a subject that he was hoping NOT to discuss.

"Troy don't worry okay. I'm here for you and that's all that matters" he held out his hand to Troy and Troy took it, squeezing it tightly. Troy's mother Alison and Ryan were the only people that had stuck with him through all of this, the only people that didn't judge him, didn't leave him. The only people that still cared for him. Alison went and placed her hand on her son's shoulder. "We better go Hunny" Troy nodded and grabbed his coat. He kept a hold of Ryan's hand as he left the hospital, drove home and arrived back at his house.

It was weird for Troy. It brought back memories and flashbacks of the night his father beat him. He looked around the room hearing his father's drunken voice, the sound of the bottle smashing to the floor, his mother's screams and he held onto Ryan's hand tighter. Not wanting to be left again. He couldn't. He was afraid that his father would come back, would come back and finish what he had started.

Alison went a pulled her son into an embrace. She understood how he felt. She had hated staying in the house alone whilst Troy was in the hospital. She couldn't even bare to stay in the bedroom where Jack used to sleep. She could hear his manic laughter and the smell of the alcohol on his breath as he punched her son. She would wake up in a sweat every night, looking for Troy, wanting to make him safe. "It's okay Troy. He's not coming back" Troy nodded weakly, shaking slightly.

Ryan knew that they wanted some time alone so he got up and started to leave. Troy grabbed his arm and pulled him back shaking his head "Please don't leave me. Don't leave me". Ryan hugged Troy again and whispered "Never". He hated seeing Troy like this. He hated seeing him this weak, this vulnerable. He, Ryan, wasn't supposed to be the strong one in the relationship, he didn't know how to help Troy, he could just be there for him. That was the best that he could do.

Alison smiled weakly. She was happy that her son had someone like Ryan in his life. Right now he needed a friend, he needed someone to be there, to comfort him. "Ryan you can stay here tonight if you want" Ryan nodded, he didn't need to be told twice. He pushed Troy away slightly. "Come on babe. Let's take your stuff upstairs" Troy nodded and picked up his bag. He scuffled after Ryan to his room. He was feeling too weak, all he wanted to do was to lie down, next to Ryan, and go to sleep. He could still hear his father's voice haunting him instead his head and he couldn't take it anymore. "STOP IT" he cried out loudly "LEAVE ME ALONE" he screamed, dropping his bag and placing his hands over his ears, trying to make the voice go away. Ryan turned around "Troy, babe, what's going on? He took a step closer to his boyfriend, afraid of what might happen. "Dad. He…he's gonna hurt me". He shook his head, the voice not leaving. Ryan grabbed Troy and pulled him into his chest, rocking back and fourth gently to calm him "He's not babe. He's gone. I am not going to let him hurt you anymore. It's okay. I promise". He ran his fingers through Troy's hair and started singing:

_**The smile on your face  
Lets me know  
That you need me  
There's a truth  
In your eyes  
Saying you'll never leave me  
The touch of your hand says  
You'll catch me  
Whenever I fall  
You say it best  
When you say  
Nothing at all**_

Troy began to calm down hearing Ryan singing. He looked up and smiled at him, letting him know how much he loved him. Ryan understood the smile and kissed him "I love you too". Ryan helped Troy get up and picked up his back. He took Troy's hand gently and went to Troy's bedroom. Troy was reluctant to go in at first but he knew that he couldn't let his fears get the better of him. He had to show everyone that he was stronger, that he wouldn't let what happened get to him. He couldn't show weakness. He WASN'T weak. He wasn't about to become weak.

Ryan started to unpack Troy's things whilst Troy watched him with anticipation. He couldn't believe that he had found someone like that. Someone to love him with all the faults, someone that didn't care whether or not he was weak, someone to love and comfort him no matter what happened. He turned Ryan round to face him and placed a soft kiss upon his lips. Ryan returned the kiss and Troy wrapped his arms around his boyfriend's neck begging for entrance to Ryan's mouth. Ryan walked towards the bed and Troy gently pushed him down, his hands roaming over his body, the lust taking over.

Troy and Ryan both couldn't help themselves, they began to take each other's clothes off. After a few heated moments Troy was inside of Ryan, thrusting himself deeply into him. He needed to get all the frustration that he held out of him. He needed to prove that HE wasn't as weak as people thought. He groaned as he forced himself into Ryan harder. The pain and the hurt leaving him.

He rolled off Ryan and breathed heavily. He could feel tears beginning to form as he looked over at Ryan and realised what he had done. "OMG Ryan. I'm so sorry" Ryan just shook his head and cuddled into Troy. He understood the need to let the pain escape. He knew what it felt like to be hurt and abused. He ran his hand over Troy's chest "It's fine Troy. I understand. Just get some sleep okay" he placed a soft kiss upon Troy's chest and rested his head upon it.

Troy couldn't help but feel guilty about what he had done. Even though Ryan had told him that it was okay, he hated himself because of it. He had forced himself upon Ryan, hurting him as he thrust roughly inside of him, releasing all of the anger, the hurt and the pain that he had locked up for days. He would make it up to Ryan, he promised himself. But first he needed to get some sleep. He was weak and he had to face the students of East High tomorrow. He closed his eyes and thoughts about what would happen ran through his mind. He knew how they treated Ryan. How would they treat him? Would they finally accept him and Ryan? Realise that their relationship wasn't wrong? 'Maybe they will treat me and Ryan the same and apologise for what they have done to us?' was his final thought before he fell asleep.

How very wrong he was.

How very very wrong.


	7. Unchartered Decisions

It finally came to the day that Troy was dreading. The day that he had to return to East High School. He wasn't looking forward to going back. He wasn't looking forward to all the whispers and the stares as he walked down the corridor. He was scared of the whispers, he was scared of the glances, but the one thing that he was scared of the most was seeing his father. If he was there. He didn't know if his father would be there or not. He hadn't seen him since the attack and he was glad but what if his father had returned to the school? What if he was still teaching? Troy knew that he wasn't ready to see his father again. Not after everything that he had put him through. He really hoped that he wouldn't see his father at school.

When Troy got up that morning his mother told him that he didn't have to go back to school if he wasn't ready but Troy shook his head. He knew that if he didn't go back that day then he would never go back. And he needed to go back. He needed to show people that he isn't ashamed of who he is and that he is proud to be with Ryan. Ryan, who had stayed the night, was being supportive towards Troy's decision to go back. "I'm gonna be there for you babe. Don't worry" "Thanks Ry" "Hey don't worry about it. I'm always going to have your back. I love you" "I love you to" Troy replied smiling as he wrapped his arms around Ryan's neck. He couldn't believe that he could have someone like Ryan in his life. He didn't think that he could ever be as happy as he was. He was so thankful for having the chance to have Ryan in his life. Right now Troy was thankful for being alive and being in one piece. If his mother hadn't come in when she had he didn't know what would have happened. He might not have ever seen Ryan again. And that thought made him shiver. Ryan could feel the shiver and he looked at Troy "What's wrong baby? Are you cold?" Troy shook his head. "I was just thinking that if my mum hadn't come in when she had I might not have seen you again" Ryan looked shocked at this revelation and held his grip onto Troy tighter "Troy, don't think things like that. I've got you and I'm never going to let you go and I promise you that" "I love you" was all that Troy managed to reply. "I love you too" Ryan replied. Troy leaned in and placed a soft kiss upon Ryan's lips. Ryan returned the kiss and placed his hand upon Troy's arm. Troy deepened the kiss and allowed all of his fears and worries flow into Ryan. Ryan was the only person that Troy ever let see him this vulnerable. Ryan was the only person Troy ever felt safe with. Ryan was the only person to see Troy for who he truly was. Faults and all.

They eventually pulled away from the kiss when Alison called to them and told them that they better get to school. Ryan could see the doubts and the worry that were in Troy's face so he squeezed his hand tightly "Everything is going to be okay. I will be there with you every step" Troy didn't reply, he just nodded and made his way downstairs with Ryan. Alison looked at her son, every ounce of worry that a mother could have. She had. She knew that what her son was going to force was going to be hard, but she also knew that her son was strong and that he would get through anything. Well that was what she hoped. "Are you sure you want to go?" she was always asking that. She didn't want to force her son to go if he wasn't ready. She wanted him to go when he was ready himself. Ready to force the trials of coming out. Ready to face the hatred. The hurt. The pain. "I'm sure mum. I need to do this" Alison went and hugged her son. She was proud of him for being so brave. She also hugged Ryan. She was thankful that her son had someone so sweet and kind and caring in his life. To help him through the good and bad times. "Thanks Ryan" Alison whispered quietly in Ryan's ear as she pulled away. Ryan smiled weakly and kept his grip on Troy's hand. "We better go babe" Troy nodded. "Bye boys" Alison said to them and watched as they left the house. She took a deep breath and hoped that her son would be okay.

"Come on Troy. You can do this" Ryan looked over at his boyfriend and said. They had pulled up outside the school 10 minutes ago and Troy wouldn't get out of the car, no matter how much Ryan coaxed him. Troy just stared at the building. His heart beating faster. He eyes becoming focused. His body beginning to shiver. He couldn't do it. He just couldn't. It was too painful. He remembered the stares of the students as he kissed Ryan. Remembered the sounds of disgusts as he admitted his true feelings for the guy he loved. Remembered the look of anger on his father's face as he plunged towards him with a knife. Troy's breathing became heavier as the memories began to flood through his brain. Ryan looked over at Troy and saw him beginning to shake and sweat. "Troy baby?" he asked worryingly, lightly placing his hand on Troy's arm. "Troy? It's Ryan. Please calm down baby you're scaring me" Troy looked and saw Ryan and he began to calm down as he remembered that Ryan made him feel safe. That Ryan would never hurt Troy. Ryan kept an eye on Troy as he began to calm down and stop shaking. He had tears beginning to form and Troy noticed "Ryan. I-I'm sorry" he hugged Ryan pulling him closer. He didn't mean to hurt him. He never meant to but the thought of having to enter that building had made him terrified.

"You don't have to do this Troy. Go home. You're not ready for this" "I am Ry. I need to do this. I need to prove to them that I am proud of being who I am. Proud to have you at my side. Proud to say that I am gay and I am happy". Ryan couldn't help but smile. He was proud of how strong Troy was being. He knew that he wouldn't be able to be that strong and he was happy that his boyfriend could be that strong. "And I'll be there every step you take" Ryan replied as he squeezed Troy's hand in encouragement. Troy took a deep breath and finally stepped out of the car. The smell of the air, the noise of the chattering and the laughter was familiar but it felt so wrong. He didn't feel like he fitted in anymore. Ryan got out of the car and locked the doors and went over to Troy. "You ready?" Troy nodded and took Ryan's hand in his. He wasn't bothered about what people would say. They knew that he was gay and if they couldn't accept that then that was their problem. As they made their way into the High School, the tension could be sliced with a knife. As soon as they stepped inside the doors of East High all attention turned to them. Ryan held onto Troy's hand tighter as the two began to walk down the corridors.

Whispers and sniggering could be heard as they walked to their lockers. Looks of disgust and shock could be seen on their faces, the looks of horror of seeing them together. No one liked it. They didn't like the fact that their 'Golden Boy' was gay and that they could like someone like Ryan Evans, who was the drama geek and brother to the 'Ice Queen' Sharpay Evans. Troy didn't know if he would be able to cope with the tension anymore. It was beginning to get to him. He liked having attention but this time the attention was because of the wrong reason. Instead of people loving him, people were loathing him. Instead of wanting to speak to him they were moving away from him. He knew that he had to be strong. He had told Ryan and his mother that he could handle it but he wished that he had told his mother that he wanted to stay home. That was all that he wanted was to go home. But he wasn't about to give the students the high that they wanted. He was not going to let them win. He was going to show them that he wasn't bothered about the situation.

When they reached their destination Troy wouldn't let go of Ryan. He was too afraid to. "I don't think that I can handle this anymore babe. It's too hard" Troy wasn't as strong as he made out and he began to weaken. The true Troy was showing and he didn't want anyone else to see. "You're doing fine Troy. I am so proud of you" Ryan replied placing a soft kiss on Troy's lips. "But I can take you home if you want to". Troy shook his head. Ryan was proud of him. That was something that he had never heard from anyone except his parents and he couldn't help but smile. "You know what? I am not going to lower myself to their level. So what if I'm gay? I'm still the same person as I was back then and I am going to show that to them" Ryan took hold of Troy's hand again and they walked off to their first lesson together. Not knowing what was going to happen but ready to face the world.

Lessons were hard. Everytime the teacher's back was turned, everyone would give Troy and Ryan dirty looks. Looks of hate. Looks of disgust. But Troy and Ryan ignored them. Well tried. It hurt them Everytime someone whispered hurtful things like "Fag" and "Queer" to them but they pretended not to hear. As the day went by things became harder and harder for Troy and Ryan. During free period Troy had gone to Basketball practice. Not sure what to expect. But he never expected what happened to happen.

_Flashback_

_Troy entered the gym, not knowing what to expect. He didn't get changed into his 'Wildcats' gear. He didn't see the point. He had a feeling that his father would be there. That he would have to face the monster that had caused him pain. But luckily he wasn't. As he entered the gymnasium he could see Chad, Jason, Zeke, Bradley, Tom, Matthew, Tony, Christian, Harry, Connor and Junior huddled in a circle, obviously discussing Troy and Ryan's return to the school. As soon as Troy entered the gymnasium all went quiet and Chad walked towards him "Oh look, if it isn't the queer himself" Chad spat disgustedly at the person he once called 'his best friend'. Sniggers could be heard from the other members._

"_What do you think you are doing here Fag?" it hurt Troy to hear Chad talking to him like this. They used to be friends and now here he was throwing him away like some piece of shit just because he is gay. Troy never realised that Chad could be so hurtful and he was glad that the two were now not friends._

"_I'm here for practice" "No you ain't. We don't allow fags on the team. Coach made me the new playmaker and we initiated Connor onto the team. So why don't you take your queer little arse out of here and go back to your boyfriend eh?"_

_Troy couldn't believe it. He had been kicked off the team. He sighed and looked at Chad "What happened to you. Why have you become such a prick?" "Nothing happened to me Troy. You're the one who decided to suck cock not me" Chad turned around and went back to the rest of the team leaving Troy trying not to cry. He walked out of the gym. _

_His life was officially over._

_End flashback_

That was the one thing that hurt Troy the most. Basketball was his life. And now he had nothing. He didn't have any friends. He didn't have basketball. He didn't have a father. He didn't have a life. All he had was Ryan and his mother. He didn't know why he even bothered to go back to school. There was no way that anyone would talk to him. Well Sharpay did. But she didn't care. She is proud of Troy and Ryan coming out and being proud of who they are. Troy found Ryan in the auditorium and he was thankful that he was alone because as soon as Ryan asked him how did it cry, he cried.

Ryan took Troy home. He hated to see Troy upset and he knew that if they stayed their any longer than Troy might just do something that he regretted and he didn't want to risk that. Ryan took Troy to his bedroom and forced him to go to sleep and to relax and to forget everything that had happened that day. Troy was reluctant at first but he eventually fell asleep. Alison asked Ryan what had happened and was shocked to learn what had happened. She didn't realise that Chad, Jason and Zeke were like that. Although she didn't expect anything less of her husband. Everyone had become monsters since Troy had come out and she hated it. She hated the fact that no one could be accepted if they were gay. What kind of world did they live in these days?

Alison told Ryan to go home and relax and take a bath. She would give him a call when Troy had called up. She also told Ryan to bring some of his stuff back because she wanted him to move in. She needed someone to look after Troy when she was at work and she couldn't think of anyone other than Ryan, as Ryan loved Troy more than anything and Alison knew that Ryan wouldn't treat Troy like shit. Ryan was more than happy to agree and made Alison promise to call him as soon as Troy woke up before he left.

Alison decided to leave Troy to sleep. He had too many worries without her going up and making sure that he was okay all of the time. He needed the rest. He had had a hard day and she knew that he wouldn't be able to forgive Chad for what he had done to him. Alison curled up on the couch in the living room and closed her eyes. She was exhausted because she had been worrying about Troy and Ryan all morning. Not knowing what would happen.

Troy didn't stay asleep for very long. He couldn't. He kept having nightmares about being back at High School and he woke up. He looked around the room. He couldn't do this anymore. He needed to get away. He knew what he needed to do. He found a pen and a piece of paper and quickly scribbled a note to his mother and Ryan

"_Dear Mum and Ry,_

_Thanks for being there and supporting me the last week. It means a lot that you care enough to help me through everything that has been going on but I just cannot continue to do this. I need to get away from here. I am unable to handle the hurt and the pain and the looks that are being given Everytime I enter a room. Please do not come looking for me. I will keep in touch I promise. I just really need to do this._

_I love you both to pieces and are the only people that I can rely on. I will get in touch soon I promise. Please do not worry about me I will be fine._

_LOVE YOU LOADS_

_Love Troy_

_Xxx_

He placed the note on the bed and quickly grabbed his rucksack and shoved some clothes into it. He didn't know where he was going he just knew that he needed to get away. He also knew that his mother and Ryan would be distraught but if he told them they would convince him not to go and he needed to. He grabbed all the money he could find in his wallet and crept downstairs. He took one last glance at his mother who was sleeping peacefully and opened the front door. He took a deep breath and closed to door. As he started to make his way down the street he could feel the tears that were beginning to form.

He continued to walk. Not knowing where he was going. What he was going to do or where he was going to stay. But that didn't bother him yet. All he cared about was getting away from all the people that were causing him hurt and pain and that was exactly what he was doing.

He was escaping.


	8. Finding Out & Living Rough

Alison Bolton awake. The light shining into her eyes. She sat up and placed a hand over her eyes to cover the blare. The sun was quite low in the sky and it was very warm. Alison stretched and yawn slightly before standing up. She decided that she would go and check on Troy. She had left him because she knew that he needed to rest and to calm down from what had happened at the school. She started to make her way upstairs and thought about what she was going to say to her son. She knew that he had been having a hard time so she had to be careful and gentle towards him. She didn't like to think of the people that his friends had become. She had always liked Chad and Jason but by the sounds of it they had become shallow and mean just because her son admitted that he was gay.

She continued upstairs until she reached Troy's door. She knocked softly " Troy?". No answer. "Hunny?" she called, knocking again but slightly louder this time. Still no answer. Alison thought that maybe he would still be asleep. Afterall he was a very heavy sleeper especially if he needed the sleep. Which he did. She opened his door slightly and peered inside his room. There was no sign of him. His bed had been left unmade and there were clothes strewn across the floor. She thought that maybe he would have been in the bathroom so she made her way down the corridor to the bathroom. She knocked on the door " Troy?". No answer. She tried the handle and the door opened. There was no Troy inside. Now she was beginning to panic. She went back to his bedroom and that was when she noticed the note that was laying on his bed. She went and picked up the note and read it..

_"Dear Mum and Ry, _

_Thanks for being there and supporting me the last week. It means a lot that you care enough to help me through everything that has been going on but I just cannot continue to do this. I need to get away from here. I am unable to handle the hurt and the pain and the looks that are being given every time I enter a room. _

_Please do not come looking for me. I will keep in touch I promise. I just really need to do this. _

_I love you both to pieces and are the only people that I can rely on. I will get in touch soon I promise. Please do not worry about me I will be fine. _

_LOVE YOU LOADS _

_Love _ _Troy_

_Xxx _

She looked at the letter again not believing what she had read the first time. She started to cry. Her son had run away from home and she didn't know where he had gone. She understood why he done it though. She probably would have done the same if she had been in the same situation as her son. But that didn't stop her from hurting. Not knowing where her son was hurt her more than anything. She read the letter for the last time, hoping that maybe he left some clues but she couldn't find any. Her son had truly gone. And then one thing caught her eye. _Ryan_. Maybe he had some idea where Troy would have gone. She went over to her son's beside table and picked up the phone and dialled in Ryan's number.

_"Hello" a deep male voice answered _

"Hi this is Mrs Bolton, could I speak to Ryan please" Alison asked calmly, slightly shaking from the letter.

_"Yes, let me just get him" the voice replied _

Alison waited. _"Hello?" Ryans voice boomed down the phone_

"Hello Ryan. It's Alison"

_"Hello Mrs Bolton" _

" Troy's missing" she blurted out. She didn't want to have small talk. She needed to know where her son was.

_"Oh My God" Ryan gasped _

"He left a note saying that he couldn't cope anymore and that he needed to get away and not to look for him" Alison couldn't help but start crying again. She hated this. She hated not knowing where her son was. She hated the thought of him being out alone. Roaming the streets. Not knowing where he was going to stay. How he was going to eat. Did he even have a plan where to go?

Alison could hear Ryan stifling back a cry. She knew how he must be feeling. Everything had been pressed into Troy. Forcing him to take responsibility for everything. _"I will be right over"_ Ryan told her before hanging up, grabbing his jacket and leaving the house.

Alison went and sat down on the coach, holding the letter tightly in her grasp. She hung her head and started to cry again. It was her fault. Well so she thought. It was her fault that he had run away. It was her fault that her son had been attacked by her husband. She shouldn't have let her husband back into their life the last time he had beaten their son. He promised her that he had changed and she had believed him. But he hadn't. He was still the drunken monster that he was back then. She couldn't believe that she had been so stupid in believing that he had changed. Believing that he really was sorry for beating her and her son. But he had reverted back. He had beaten up his son just because he found out that he was gay. She never knew that her husband could be like that. She didn't realise that her husband had a thing against homosexuals. She didn't think that he could be so cruel, so heartless just because her son liked other guys.

She stared around the room. Trying to think of the places where Troy could go. There wasn't any close family in the area so he wouldn't be able to go there unless he was going to leave the state and go to the family. She shook her head. No her son wasn't that stupid. He wouldn't leave Albuquerque would he? She hoped that he wouldn't. She wouldn't know what to do if he did. She thought of other places where he could go. There was Jonathon's, who had been a close family friend since Troy was a baby. In fact he was Troy's Godfather. She could ring up Jonathon to see if Troy had gone there. She stood up and made her way to the phone but then she remembered that Jonathon had gone to Wales for 2 weeks so Troy wouldn't be able to go there. There was no other people that she knew about where he could go.

She sat back down and placed her head in her hands. She wanted her son back. She needed to protect him. She needed to save him from the cruel world that was outside. He didn't know what the real world was like. He didn't see the drugs, the rapes, the prostitution, the hurt, the suffering and the hunger that lined some of the rougher parts of Albuquerque. She hoped that he would never get to see that part of the world because it scared her. She didn't want to think about her son being dragged into the world of drugs and alcohol. She tried to stop the images that were entering her head but she couldn't. Images of Troy being left for dead on the road due to an overdose, being used and abused by a gang of boys, sleeping between rubbish bags at night. She shook the images away. "No. Troy isn't that stupid" she told herself but she couldn't quite convince herself of it. She knew that desperate times called for desperate measures. And Troy had desperate times.

She had never told Troy that she had experienced the street life. She never told him that she had left home when she was 17 because she and her parents didn't get on. She never told him that she had been left to live on the streets for 3 months because she couldn't find anywhere to live. She didn't tell him that she had experienced the drugs, the alcohol, the prostitution, the sleeping in run down houses or rubbish bags. That was the secret in her life that no one knew and that no one would ever know. She was embarrassed about what had happened and felt dirty whenever she thought about the life that she had once lead.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. She stopped up and made the way to the door, wiping away the tears as she went at it. She wasn't in the mood for visitors right now. She didn't want to see anybody. She just needed to be alone, to think about everything that was going on. To think of a way to find her son. When she opened the door she saw a tearstained, drenched Ryan. She stepped aside and allowed him into the house. It had started to rain outside and Ryan had ran all the way to the Bolton house. Alison didn't say anything, she just pulled Ryan into a hug and held him closely. Ryan hugged her back, not caring if he was wet. All he cared about was finding Troy. Eventually Alison let go of Ryan and looked at him.

Ryan could see the hurt and the pain that was in her eyes and he hated it. He hated seeing her like this. She was usually so full of energy, love and care yet all of that had seemed to be drained away and all that was left was dark, emptiness that wouldn't escape. "He's going to be okay. I promise" Ryan told her. They both knew that he wasn't very convincing but it helped to ease Alison a little bit. She knew that Ryan would try everything to bring home Troy safe and sound.

"Do you have any ideas where he could be?" he asked her as they both sat down on the couch. Alison shook her head "No. I mean we have family in the next state but I don't think that he is that stupid to go there" "Maybe we should give them a ring just in case. He said he needed to escape and that is the best way to escape the problems"

Alison nodded her head slightly in agreement. Ryan had a point. She got up again and went over to the phone. She dialled the number of her sister and waited for an answer.

Xxx

Troy walked down the streets of Albuquerque not knowing where he was going. He didn't care right now. He just needed to get away from all the taunts and the grief that he was getting. So okay he did care. A little. He cared about his mum and Ryan. He cared about how they would feel when they discovered that he had gone. He cared about how his mother would cry when she realised that her son wasn't coming back. He cared about how Ryan would feel heartbroken that he hadn't told them. But there was no going back now. He couldn't. If he did then he would have to suffer all the taunts and the whispers and the stares and he couldn't. Troy Bolton wasn't as strong as he made out to be. He wasn't the 'Golden Boy' that everybody thought he was.

He continued to make his way down the street noticing the roughness of this part of Albuquerque. He never realised that there was this side of the town. There were people begging on the streets, sleeping between rubbish, men trying to hassle young people to give them money. Dealers selling drugs to anyone that was willing to purchase them. This part of the world scared Troy but this was what was going to become home for him.

It was what Troy decided. It wasn't as if he had anywhere else to stay. He had no friends, no family that he could go to. Just himself and his bag. He made his way carefully down an alleyway. The rancid smell stinging his nostrils as he made his way through the bags of rubbish that had been left out. He reached the end of the alleyway and noticed an old mattress laying there. That would be the perfect spot for the night Troy thought to himself. He moved the bags of rubbish off the mattress and threw them down the alley. He then pulled the mattress out and found some clothes in his bag that he could use as a pillow and a quilt. He found a pair of old trousers that he rolled up and placed that at one end of the mattress. He then found a t-shirt and a jacket that could be used as a sheet and a quilt. He placed the t-shirt on the mattress and then climbed onto it and laid down. He placed the jacket over him and stared at the alleyway. This was now his home.

Home. He missed it already. He missed the comforts of his mattress, the cleanness, the smell of his mother's cooking. His mother. He missed her more than anything. He needed her right now. He needed her to hug him tightly as he drifted off to sleep. He needed her to tell him that everything was going to be okay. He needed her to love and care for him. He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. That was his old life. This was his new life.

The alleyway.

The mattress.

The dampness, the rats, the smell. He could hear the people in the house he was living behind arguing. He closed his eyes and tried to block the noise out. A small tear rolled down on his cheek as he finally managed to make himself fall asleep.

This was the life that he was living.

Living on the streets.

Sleeping on a mattress.

About to enter a world he never knew existed.


	9. Can You Trust Strangers?

Troy awoke the next day to the sound of shouting. The neighbours were at it again. He couldn't make out what was being said but he could hear muffled screams and shouts. He sat up and looked around the area. It was filthy. Unclean. Unhygienic. But this was now his life. He flinched slightly when he felt something furry running across his hand. He looked down and saw a large rat sniffing his way across Troy's bed. "Shoo" Troy spat, pushing the rat of the mattress. It was bad enough that he had to live here let alone that he had to live with rats. He stood up and shook of the jacket that he was using as a blanket. He put it on and unrolled the trousers and placed them back into his backpack. He couldn't wear them, he needed them for another day. He needed to find somewhere where he could wash. And eat. Where was he going to find food? He had about $15 that he had found inside his wallet but that wasn't going to last long.

He started to walk back down the alleyway and onto the street. He was going to look for somewhere else to stay. He couldn't stay in the alleyway forever. It smelt and it was dangerous. He knew that he was trespassing so he had to look for another place to live. At least for the time being. He put his hands in his pockets and walked down the street, not making eye contact with anyone. Ashamed that he was in this position. Ashamed that he couldn't be as strong as he made out to be. Ashamed that he was gay. No he wasn't ashamed of being gay. He was ashamed of the people that hated him because he was gay. There wasn't anything wrong with him. Except that he liked men instead of women.

"Watch it" someone spat at him as he crashed into someone. Troy looked up at the person that he had banged into. He was tall, dark, had short spiky dark brown hair and he was wearing a Gucci suit. 'Lucky for some' Troy thought to himself. "Sorry" Troy mumbled, taking another look at the man and continuing walking back down the street. He didn't notice that the guy kept his eyes on him. Didn't notice that the guy wrote something down. Didn't notice that the guy smiled before he walked off.

The smell of Bacon and Eggs sifted up Troy's nose and he found himself drooling. He hadn't eaten since the previous morning and he was starving. He fished out his wallet from his bag and pulled out £5. He knew that he couldn't afford it but he needed to eat. Afterwards he decided that he would do something to get some more money. Maybe he would be able to get a small job. Even if it was just cleaning. He was willing to do anything. And he needed to find a place to live. Maybe he could find someone to make a deal with. Do any jobs they wanted in exchange for having a place to live and a meal once a day.

He made his way into the small café and the smell drifted up his nostrils. He couldn't help but smile. The smell of Bacon was his favourite smell. He went up to the counter and waited in the queue. He took a look at the menu and noticed that it was relatively cheap. He decided that he was going to have a cup of tea as well. He needed to feel warm and he needed the energy.

"Can I help you?" the woman behind the counter asked him smiling. She looked about 22, she had long blonde hair that rested on her shoulders and deep brown eyes. He read the name tag that she was wearing 'Anne'.

"Oh erm yes. Can I have a bacon sandwich and a tea to take out please?"

"Sure. What bread would you like?"

"White please"

"Butter"

"Please"

"And how would you like your drink?"

"White 2 sugars please"

Anne smiled at Troy and made his drink and sandwich, she wrapped them up and placed them into a bag and handed it to Troy. "That is $1.70 please" Troy handed over the $5 note and waited until Anne handed him the $3.30 change. He took it and placed it into his pocket.

"Thanks" Troy said and he left the café. Once outside he took the sandwich out of the bag, unwrapped it and began to eat it. It was like heaven when his lips touched the greasy slices of crispy bacon. It was just like how Troy liked it. You bit into it and the butter slid down his chin leaving greasy stains on the wrapper. He went and found a place to sit across the street. He went and sat down taking in the view as he finished off his bacon sandwich and started on his cup of tea. The area was a state. It didn't look like Albuquerque at all. It was as if he had been pulled into a parallel universe where the streets were cracked, the houses were run down and there was a horrible mist that covered the village. He couldn't believe that there was this place in Albuquerque.

Once he had finished his tea he got back up, threw his rubbish away and continued walking down the street. As he was walking he noticed that there were lots of people that were in the same position as him. Lots of people were curled up on the floor with only an old rag as a sheet, people his age taking drugs and drinking alcohol. Troy wanted to cry. It was horrible to see. He didn't like to think that these people existed but now he had seen the truth. Now he really did wish that he was back at him. He never realised how fortunate he was until now.

"Some spare change?" an old guy asked him as he walked on past. He took a look at the guy and noticed that he was covered in dirty rags and he hadn't washed his hair in years. He also had an odd smell to him that smelt similar to urine. Troy knew that he couldn't afford it but he pulled out the $3.30 change from his pocket and handed it to the guy with a smile.

The guy took it and smiled back at Troy "Thank you". The guy noticed that Troy was in a similar situation "You should go home. You shouldn't be here. It is not safe for youngsters such as yourself"

Troy shook his head "I can't go home". He walked back off down the street. He took a deep breath. He knew that this was going to be hard but he also knew that he would be able to cope with it. He had to. He didn't have any other choice. Well he did, but he couldn't cope with that.

Xxx

An hour had passed and Troy still hadn't found somewhere else to stay, so he decided to make his way back to the alleyway. Once he reached the alleyway he was stopped by a figure. "Excuse me" Troy asked trying to get past the figure but he couldn't. Troy looked up and saw that he recognized the figure. It was the same guy that he had bummed into earlier. _'But how does he know I live here?_' Troy asked himself.

Troy turned to run but felt the guy place a hand on his shoulder. "You don't have to be scared. I am here to help you". Troy turned around and looked back up at the man.

"My name is Josh Jones and I own a club called Jumping Jacks. I am here to make you an offer. You can work for me and I will let you stay at my club" Troy couldn't believe it. Some stranger he had just met was offering him a job and a place to stay.

"Why are you offering me this" Troy questioned.

"Because I take in people like you. I have been in a similar situation myself and I know how hard life can be"

"Are you sure?"

Josh nodded. "Of course. If you want the offer" Troy didn't need to think about the offer. He already knew the answer

"Yes" he blurted out

Josh held out his hand and Troy shook it. "Come on I'll take you there". Troy followed Josh. Not knowing what was going to lie ahead of him.


	10. Can I Really Do This To My Body?

**Authour's Note: Thanks to everyone that has been supporting the story and reviewing. It really means a lot that people enjoy the story. Here is the next chapter. This is not my best chapter and to be honest I really do not like it so sorry if you don't either.**

Troy followed Josh down the alleyways. He didn't know where he was going but he was too afraid to ask. He didn't dare ask if Josh was serious about the job and the hospitality but he didn't want to seem as if he was being ungrateful. So he kept his mouth shut and continued to walk down the dark alleyways. Josh kept quiet and he didn't even look at Troy as they made their way to the club. Josh was beginning to wonder if Troy really was 'Jumping Jacks' material. He had the physique and the looks so he would definitely get picked but he wondered if he had the mentality. Did he have what it took to be able to cope with the responsibilities of a 'Jumping Jack?'. Well he was about to find out.

Josh stopped in front of a large white building and looked over at Troy, who hadn't realised that Josh had stopped until he walked into him. "Sorry" Troy mumbled as he looked up at the building that was in front of him. He couldn't believe it. It was so big and it didn't look like it fitted in this part at all. It had double glazed windows, smooth paintwork and a large beige front door.

"Home" Josh smiled as he made his way inside the building. Troy hesitated at first but then he followed Josh inside and was bewildered at the sight in front of him. He couldn't believe it. It looked like a palace. There were long seats around the walls and there were 6 doors that obviously led into rooms. Each of the doors said something on the front but Troy couldn't make out what they said. And there were large stairs that led upstairs.

"The living quarters are upstairs" Josh told Troy as he noticed him looking upstairs. Troy just nodded and looked around the downstairs a small smile plaguing the sides of his mouth. _'I could get used to living her' _ Troy thought to himself. It wasn't home but it was a place to stay and he had shelter and food.

"So what is my job?"

"Follow me" was Josh's reply. This is where he found out if Troy was 'Jumping Jacks' material. Here he found out if Troy was willing to take on the job. Some of the boys that he had offered had not accepted the job because they couldn't do that to themselves. They didn't have the courage to take the job. Josh couldn't force them to do that, it wasn't in his place, so he gave them some money and some clothes and told them that they were free to leave. And he would do the same for Troy. He wasn't going to force Troy to stay there if he didn't want to.

Troy once again followed Josh to one of the rooms. Once Troy got closer to the room he could see that the sign said "Voyeurism". He didn't know what that meant so he was curious as what was inside. As Josh opened the door Troy could hear moans and groans coming from inside the room.

Josh ushered Troy into the room and Troy saw what was going on. There were three people standing around a bed masturbating over two guys that were having sex on the bed. "Oh baby" a guy moaned as he thrust himself inside the other guy. The guys watching seemed to be getting turned on by this more and they closed their eyes and moaned themselves.

Troy stood there shocked as to what was happening. He seemed to be getting the idea of what the job entailed. He quickly left the room because he couldn't keep watching. Josh came out of the room and closed the door and took a look at Troy.

"This is a place for prostitutes isn't it?" Troy asked not looking at Josh

"Yes" was all that Josh replied with "I am not going to force you to stay here"

Troy didn't reply. He walked away from the wall and went and sat down on one of the large couches. He put his head in his hands and closed his eyes. He needed to think about this. He didn't know that he wanted to give away his body like that. He didn't want to think that he wanted to have other guys thrust in and out of him. He couldn't. Ryan was the only one that Troy had ever given himself to and that was the way that he wanted to keep it. He didn't like to think that he was cheating on Ryan.

But what other choice did he have? If he didn't take this job then he would end back up on the streets not knowing where his next meal was coming from, not knowing where he was going to sleep and having to live with vermin. But if he took this offer he would a bed, food, clean facilities and he could live safely. He was confused about what to do.

Josh went and sat beside Troy and placed a soft hand upon his shoulder "I know it's hard Troy but you do not have to do this if you want to. Some people are unable to handle this and I can understand. It took me a while to get used to it when I first started"

"How did you start?" Troy looked up at Josh and saw the concern in his eyes. He knew that Josh meant what he had said. He wondered how Josh had come into the business. He didn't look like the type of guy that was into that kind of business. Though it would explain the Gucci suit and the Rolex watch.

"Well I was about your age when I came out and people weren't ready to accept me" Troy nodded in agreement. He knew just how Josh was feeling "So I ran away and I ended up on the streets. I had been on there for about 3 months when this guy came upto me and offered me a job and a place to stay. So I took the offer without asking what the job was. Once he told me what the job was I was still willing to do it"

"But why?"

"Because I was desperate. I didn't have no food. No place to stay. No clothes. So I took the job. I began the job instantly and for the first 2 weeks I hated myself because of it. I hated the fact that I was selling my body. I didn't think about it when a guy was thrusting himself into me. But over the time it started to feel right. I knew that it was a necessity so I continued to do it"

Troy listened to him shocked. He couldn't believe that Josh had been in the same position as he had. He didn't think it was real that all of this could be happening to him. He didn't realise just how bad the world and the people in it could be sometimes. Well Troy wanted to see reality and he was definitely getting a chance to live it now.

"How did you know about me? I only arrived here yesterday"

"Well remember that old man you met and gave money to?"

"Yeah"

"Well he keeps an eye out for me. To see if anyone new is in the area. He reports back to me and I go and make the child an offer"

"Oh" This didn't seem real to Troy. It was all confusing. He didn't know what to do. He couldn't go back home. Not just yet. He didn't want to go back on the streets but he wasn't sure if he wanted to give his body to others. He let out a huge sigh and leant back in the couch.

"Look how about you stay the night for free and you can tell me your decision in the morning"

"Are you sure?"

Josh nodded "I know how difficult it can be to make a choice like this"

"Thanks" Josh and Troy stood up "Let me show you to your room" Josh went upstairs and Troy followed. He felt a bit unnerved as he made his way past the rooms but he tried not to think about it. Once he was upstairs all thoughts of downstairs disappeared. The rooms upstairs were amazing. There were 10 bedrooms on two different levels and there were 3 bathrooms and 2 kitchens.

"Wow" Troy commented as he looked around the rooms

"Pretty impressive huh?"

Troy nodded "Very much. How can you fit all these rooms upstairs?"

"Easily. But it took a long time. Some of the rooms are double and even triple rooms so we are able to house upto 20 teenagers. However I will give you a single room so that you can rest and you are able to decide what you would like to do" Josh took Troy to one of the smaller rooms and allowed him inside. The room was average size and had a double bed, a wardrobe, a chest of drawers, a television and a table inside.

"I will leave you to clean up and you can help yourself to the kitchen anytime. Plus there are some clothes in the wardrobe and the drawers that you can wear once you have showered. If you decide not to stay you can keep the clothes along with some others so that you are able to keep clean until you find somewhere else to stay"

"Thanks Josh"

Josh just smiled and made his way out of the room closing the door behind him. He went back downstairs and checked on his clients in the rooms before going to his office and working on the accounts.

Troy sat down on his bed and looked around the room. It was so peaceful, so calming. Troy began to feel at home already and he hadn't even been there an hour. He didn't know what it was but something about Josh, something about this place, made him relaxed. He felt as if he really connected and that he didn't want to leave. He opened the wardrobe and noticed that there were clothes in there. He found a pair of trousers and a t-shirt that were his size. He then went and opened the drawers and took a pair of boxer shorts and socks.

He made his way to the bathroom and pushed the door open slowly. He made sure that no one was inside before he entered and closed the door behind him. He looked at the bathroom. It was three times the size of the bathroom that he had in his house. There were 6 joining showers, similar to those at a swimming pool and an enclosed area which he presumed was where a bath was held. He wondered where the toilets were but he decided that he would ask Josh about that later. For now he needed to have a shower and get into some clean clothes.

He stripped off and stepped into the shower. He turned on the shower and felt the warm water drip down his back. He smiled as he closed his eyes and just grazed in the feel of the water fall over his body. It was like something he had never felt before. He knew that it was like all the other times that he had taken a shower but this time it was different. He couldn't explain it. He just allowed himself to feel free for a while.

After 10 minutes he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He left the bathroom and started to make his way back into his bedroom when he bumped into another teenager on the way. He couldn't help but stare. It was the same one that he had saw in the voyeurism room on the bed getting thrusted into him.

"Hi" the boy said to him with a huge smile on his face

"Er hi" Troy replied. He noticed the boys slim figure. He was wearing a tracksuit and had a head of dark brown hair that looked similar to his own. He also had small rimmed glasses and the deepest green eyes he had ever seen.

"I'm Jackson" the boy replied

"Troy"

"Nice to meet you Troy. Do you work here?"

Troy shook his head "Josh told me that I could sleep on it and decide by in the morning"

Jackson smiled. "I remember being in the same position as you 2 years ago when I first arrived at Jumping Jacks. I had run away from home and I found myself on the streets. Josh took me in and brought me here. He told me that I could have a job and a place to stay. At first I was freaked out by the idea of selling my body but I managed to come round to the idea so I accepted the job and here I am 2 years later"

"Are you happy?"

Jackson once again nodded and smiled "Yeah. I mean it can be a bit scary sometimes but Josh and the others are always there to help and support you and they always try and offer the best safety that they can"

"So is this Josh guy real?"

"Yeah. I couldn't have asked for a better person to take me in. I mean he really guys about the boys that he brings in and he treats us with the respect that we deserve. And if we want to leave anytime then we are able to and he doesn't stop us. I can't tell you to take the job Troy but I would advise you to. It isn't the best but it's home"

Troy just listened. "Anyways I have to go. I have another client in 20 minutes and I need to have a shower. I hope to see again Troy"

"You to" Troy watched as Jackson made his way into the bathroom and he thought about what he had been told. It sounded like a nice place. Josh seemed like a genuine guy. Troy was definitely considering on taking Josh up on the offer but he also decided that he would sleep on it. So he went back to his bedroom and climbed into bed. He closed his eyes and thoughts of Josh, Ryan and Jackson rolled around in his mind as he began to fall asleep.

Xxx

Ryan was extremely worried. It had only been a day since Troy had disappeared but Ryan knew that he wasn't going to come back. He was scared. He needed to know where Troy had gone. He knew why he had gone though. It was because of Chad and Jason. They were the main influences to why his boyfriend had run away. He hated them even more for it now. How could they be so cruel to their friend just because he came out that he liked guys instead of girls?

Ryan had been with Alison since she had called him and told him that Troy had gone missing. He had tried to comfort her but it wasn't working. How could he comfort her when he couldn't comfort himself? He kept thinking that it was his fault that Troy had run away. Maybe if he hadn't made Troy want to come out then this wouldn't have happened. Maybe if he had told Troy that he couldn't go out with him then Troy would still be around. He would still have friends. He would still be popular. Although it would have made Ryan unhappy, Troy would have been happy. All he cared about was Troy's feelings. Never his own.

Ryan hadn't gone back to school. He couldn't face it. He knew the news of Troy disappearing would soon be spilled and he couldn't face going to East High with people knowing that his boyfriend had run away. Maybe they would blame him like he blamed himself. Maybe they blame him for turning Troy gay. Maybe all of this really was his fault.

"It is not your fault Ryan" Alison told Ryan when he told her that he blamed himself for what was happening. "It is no one's fault. So don't go blame yourself Okay? Troy wouldn't want you to"

Ryan nodded weakly and looked down at the floor. He couldn't get the thought that it was his fault out of his head. Ryan looked up at Alison after a few minutes and noticed that she was crying. He placed an arm around her shoulder and rocked back and forth gently.

They needed to find Troy.

And they needed to find him now.


	11. Tomorrow Never Comes

Gabriella was doing her Math homework when her cellphone started to ring. She put down her pen and searched for her cellphone. Finally she found it underneath her jacket on her bed. She looked at the screen and saw that it said 'Ryan'. She answered the cellphone as she walked towards her balcony

"Hey Ryan" she smiled and looked at the balcony. The place where she and Troy had spent many a night together watching the stars and the sunsets. They would often hold hands and gaze into each other's eyes not saying anything because nothing needed to be said. But now that would never happen again. But she wasn't mad. She was happy that Troy was happy and she couldn't understand why Chad and Jason weren't supportive of Troy when they were supposed to be his '_best friends_'.

"_Hi Gabriella" Ryan replied._

There was an uncertainty in his voice that Gabriella didn't like. He usually only sounded that concerned when something was seriously wrong. Gabriella began to get worried now. Maybe it was something to do with Troy. He hadn't coped well with going back to East High the day before.

"What's wrong Ry?" Gabriella asked calmly with a hint of concern in her voice also. She and Ryan had become good mates since he hated started dating Troy so she knew when he was upset.

"_It's Troy…He's missing"_

Those two words hit Gabriella hard. She loosened her grip on her cellphone and gasped. Missing? How was that possible. She had seen him yesterday. School. He had left school early so he must have ran away after that. She couldn't believe that he had ran away. She didn't think that he could do that.

"W-what?" Gabriella stuttered. She couldn't believe this. She felt the tears pricking at the back of her eyes. 'This has to be some sick joke' she thought to herself as she went and sat down on her bed. She shook her head. Ryan wasn't like that and neither was Troy. They liked a joke but that would have been a sick joke to pull. And even Ryan, who was an amazing actor, couldn't fake the concern and worry that was in his voice.

"_Troy ran away yesterday. We don't know where he is"_

Gabriella dropped her cellphone and didn't hear anything else that was being said. She was in shock. How could this happen? Why Troy? Life didn't seem fair.

"_Gabriella?" Ryan shouted down the phone concerned. When he got no answer he began to become worried. He decided to tell Gabriella because she was so supportive of their relationship and one of the only people that would not treat them any different because of who they were._

Gabriella finally found the phone from the floor and placed it back to her ear. "Hey sorry Ryan. I kinda was in shock. I mean…but why?"

"_Because of how he was going to be treated at school" Ryan knew how it felt to bullied and hurt because of his sexuality and he never wished that upon Troy._

"It's so sad"

"_I know"_

"Did he leave any ideas as to where he would go?"

"_No all he left was a letter saying that he had to do this and not to look for him and he would soon be in contact with us" Ryan stared at the letter again and couldn't help but let out a small sob. He missed Troy so much and he was scared about what would happen to him. There were parts of Albuquerque that Troy didn't know about and that Ryan didn't want him discovering. The world was a cruel place and there were horrors on the street that Ryan wished Troy would never have to see. He just hoped that Troy hadn't turned to the streets because maybe they wouldn't be able to find him and if they did they might not be able to save him. He shook that thought out of his head thinking that Troy was smarter than turning to the streets. He let the tears roll down his eyes and he thought about where Troy was and what he should be doing._

Gabriella sighed. This was too much to handle. "I will be over now. Does Sharpay know?" Sharpay was also the other person who had been supportive of Troy and Ryan's relationship and didn't care what others thought all she cared about was her brother's happiness.

"_Yeah I called her before I called you. She is on her way over" Ryan remembered the conversation that he had had with Sharpay. She was so dramatic and she insisted that she would come over and help…as soon as she had gotten dressed. Ryan couldn't help but giggle when she said that. That was so Sharpay. She wouldn't go out anywhere unless she was dressed up._

"Ok see you soon Ryan" Gabriella said as she hung up her cellphone and closed it. She grabbed her jacket and went downstairs to the kitchen where Mrs Montez was cooking the dinner. She looked over and smiled at her daughter but the smile soon faded when she saw the worry, the concerns and the tears. She suddenly stopped what she was doing and went over to her daughter.

"Hunny what's wrong?"

"Troy…he's gone missing" she told her mother between oncoming sobs. Mrs Montez took her daughter in her arms and pulled her into an embrace after she told her what was wrong.

"Why? What happened?" Mrs Montez was shocked. She knew Troy and thought that he was such a kind, caring, polite young man and she was happy in whatever he decided. She didn't see what could be so bad that it would make Troy run away. He had always been so strong and always seemed to handle whatever was thrown at him.

"Well remember I told you that he realised he was gay and that he started to date Ryan Evans?"

"Yeah" Mrs Montez replied. She was a little disappointed when her daughter had told her that Troy had broken up with her because he was gay but she realised that Gabriella was happy for Troy and supportive and this made her happy. All Mrs Montez cared about was making Gabriella happy.

"Well Troy went back to school and people started pointing and staring and making snide comments and Troy couldn't handle it" Gabriella pulled away from her mother slightly and looked at the floor.

"That's bad. He shouldn't have had to go through that"

"I know and now Troy has run off and no one knows where he went. Oh mum I'm so scared. What if he gets hurt. Or worse?" Gabriella was now in tears. She hadn't thought of what could happen before but now her mind was filling up with ideas that began to scare her. She tried to shake the thoughts off but they wouldn't go. She closed her eyes. She didn't want to think that anything bad would happen to Troy. It couldn't.

Mrs Montez was again pulled her daughter into a hug and her hand down her back to help comfort her "He's going to be okay. This is Troy we all know how stubborn and strong he can be" Gabriella nodded weakly and looked up at her mother

"I'm going to Troy's. We need to try and think of where Troy could have ran off to and we need to try and find him. And quick"

Mrs Montez nodded with agreement "Go and let me know if you come across anything" Gabriella nodded "Sure mum" she replied as she pulled away and left the house. It was a 15 minute walk to Troy's so she decided to run. She would make it there in 6-7 minutes.

Xxx

After Sharpay had hung up the phone to Ryan she went and got changed. She couldn't go round there in her pyjamas. She grabbed a tracksuit and quickly got dressed, cleaned her teeth and put her hair up. She wasn't going to bother getting done up like she usually did because this was an emergency. She couldn't believe that Troy had run away. She couldn't believe that her brother hadn't told her until the day after. She was pissed off and angry at Ryan for that but she wasn't going to get on at him for it because he had just found out that his boyfriend had run away.

She grabbed her car keys and went outside. She jumped into her pink Cadillac and spun out of the driveway. She made her way as fast as she could to Troy's house. On the way she tried to think about the places that Troy could have gone but she couldn't name any. She knew that he didn't have any relatives living closely and as far as she knew he wouldn't have left the state which meant that he was still in Albuquerque. The only problem was finding out where in Albuquerque.

She pulled up outside Troy's at the same time as Gabriella came huffing and puffing up the driveway. She looked at the girl and noticed that there was worry in her face and she could tell by the tear-stained cheeks that she had been crying. She got out of the car and went to Gabriella giving her a hug. Gabriella hugged back and the two went into Troy's house.

Mrs Bolton and Ryan were on the couch just staring into space. Mrs Bolton was holding the letter that Troy had left and rocking back and forth gently, small tears rolling down her cheeks. Ryan, on the other hand, was holding a mug of coffee that hadn't been touched and was staring at the pictures of Troy on the wall.

"Awww Hunny" Sharpay went and hugged her younger brother. Gabriella went and hugged Mrs Bolton. Neither responded, they just stayed in their zombie like phases. It scared Sharpay and Gabriella who had not seen them in this state before. Not that she didn't blame them. She would have been the same. She had been the same when Ryan had told her the news.

"Can I see the letter please?" Gabriella asked. Mrs Bolton nodded and handed the letter to Gabriella. She read over it and once again felt the tears beginning to sting at her eyes. Sharpay saw this and calmly asked

"What does it say?" Gabriella read it out:

"_Dear Mum and Ry, _

_Thanks for being there and supporting me the last week. It means a lot that you care enough to help me through everything that has been going on but I just cannot continue to do this. I need to get away from here. I am unable to handle the hurt and the pain and the looks that are being given every time I enter a room. _

_Please do not come looking for me. I will keep in touch I promise. I just really need to do this. _

_I love you both to pieces and are the only people that I can rely on. I will get in touch soon I promise. Please do not worry about me I will be fine. _

_LOVE YOU LOADS _

_Love Troy_

_Xxx _

"I can't believe this is happening" Ryan mumbled as he looked into his sisters eyes. Sharpay could see into his soul and saw all of the hurt and all of worry that he was bottling up inside. It pained her to know that Ryan was like this. She hated seeing her brother hurt. When he was down, she was down. She slipped her arm over his shoulder and pulled him into an embrace.

"Let it all out Ryan" Sharpay said calmly flicking a part of Ryan's hair out of his eyes. "It's fine" So Ryan did. He broke down and started screaming Troy's name. Screaming why did that have to happen to him. He let himself go and cried into Sharpay's shoulder. Sharpay was there to hold him and comfort him. She was there to wipe away his tears, to hold him as he shook, to hug him when he needed it.

Mrs Bolton on the other hand didn't cry. She wanted to. Oh how much she wanted to but she couldn't. She couldn't bring herself to cry. She thought about where Troy could be but came up with blanks everytime. She needed to find her son.

"Maybe he is living on the streets" Gabriella mentioned. She knew that they were all thinking it and the quicker they figured things out the quicker that they could find Troy and bring him home safely

"God I hope not" Mrs Bolton replied. Everyone looked at her. "Life on the streets here is the worst. He wouldn't have a chance if he was living there" Mrs Bolton started to cry again thinking that her baby maybe the one that was living in an alleyway, no food, no shelter.

"We can go and look for him tomorrow but now we all need some rest"

Sharpay nodded in agreement "Gabriella is right. We need some sleep and then tomorrow we will start looking for Troy so that we can bring him home safely".

Ryan, Gabriella, Sharpay and Alison got up and made their way upstairs. Tomorrow they would begin their search. Tomorrow they would look for Troy.

Tomorrow.


	12. Making Your Mind Up

The residents of _Jumping Jacks_ were already up when Troy awoke. He could hear the rustle and the bustle of the teenagers making food, taking showers and getting ready for their clients throughout the day. He could hear shouts and laughter as the residents teased each other and played games in the corridor. Josh's voice could be heard from downstairs telling them not to make so much noise and to make sure that they clean up once they have finished up there. One of the boys shouts down "We know Josh" and the noise once again continues but Josh doesn't shout at them. Instead he gives them a small laugh and goes back to office to continue balancing his books.

Troy sits up in his bed and looks around the room. It is hard to believe that he has been offered to stay here for as long as he likes. He knew that Josh was expecting an answer today about whether or not he wants the job so he got up and started to make his way to the door. As he reached the door he heard a knock on the door. He lifted his hand to the doorknob and turned it, opening the door and saw the figure that was standing in front of him. It was Jackson. The boy that he had met the night before.

"Hi Troy. I was just coming to tell you that breakfast is ready if you would like to join us" Jackson told him with a large smile on his face. Troy couldn't help but notice that he, along with most of the other guys he saw, was constantly smiling and happy.

"Thanks Jackson, I would love to" Troy smiled back. He looked at Jackson was wearing and couldn't help but think that he looked kind of hot. He was wearing a pair of shorts and a tight t-shirt that accentuated his body. Extremely well. Troy couldn't help but look at Jackson's body. He looked so skinny but he was so well built. It reminded of Ryan. God how he wished that he could have Ryan with him. Touching his body, making him feel things that he hadn't felt for a while. Troy shook off the thoughts as he realised that these thoughts were making him have inappropriate actions in parts of his body.

Jackson noticed that Troy was looking at him and smiled even further. When he first saw Troy he couldn't help but notice that he was muscular and extremely well built. And he thought that he was cute and had a gorgeous smile. When he talked to him he realised that he was as nervous and scared as he first was when he came to '_Jumping Jacks'_. He knew how hard it was. Taking on the job and selling your body like that took real guts but he was in a bad state and he really didn't have any other choice so he took the job at Jumping Jacks. It had taken him a few weeks to settle in properly and learn to accept the job but now he had completely settled in. He just hoped that Troy would accept the job because he would help him to settle in.

"Erm…" Troy started "Let's get going shall we? I'm hungry"

Jackson nodded and started to make his way to the kitchen. Troy closed the door and followed Jackson, taking in the décor on his way. The walls were light blue with a gold border and there were plants lying around the alcoves. He walked into the kitchen and noticed that it was brightly lit. The walls were green and had lights around the room. In the middle there was a large wooden table that was surrounded by the other residents.

He went and sat down at the table, everyone going quiet as he made his way to the table and took his seat. He started to feel uncomfortable with all the eyes on him but Jackson broke the tension.

"Guys this is Troy. Hopefully he will be joining us Jumping Jackers. So please be nice to him because he has had a hard time" Jackson gave Troy a wink and sat beside him.

"Hey Troy" the others replied. Jackson decided to do a whos-who of Jumping Jacks.

"That's John, James, Luke, Harry, Lucas and Alex" Troy looked at the people that Jackson pointed to as he introduced him to and nodded to each one in turn. The oldest boy, Luke, turned off the cooker and took over some pans and plates and placed them in the centre of the table.

"Eat up boys" he said smiling as he took his place as head boy at the table. Troy couldn't help but smile and admire the boy. He was in charge and no one minded. He seemed to treat them like adults and not like little children which some adults seemed to do.

Troy watched as the others helped themselves to the food from the pots and plates. Troy didn't reach for any food. Even though he was really hungry he felt cheeky to take the food especially since he hadn't even joined the group yet.

"Troy you can have some as well you know" Luke smiled at him and handed him some sausages and bacon. Troy placed them on his plate and placed the tray back onto the table.

"Thanks" Troy thanked Luke before tucking into his food. It tasted like heaven. The bacon was cooked to how he liked it and the sausages were lovely. He smiled as he placed another streak of bacon into his mouth and laughed slightly when some of the fat dripped down his chin. Jackson also laughed and used a serviette to wipe off the fat from Troy's chin.

Harry looked at Troy and smiled "So Troy what brings you to _Jumping Jacks_?" he asked as he took a sip of tea. Everybody looked at Troy and Troy could feel himself becoming red as all the attention was turned onto him.

"Erm I came out to everybody because my boyfriend hated the fact that I was afraid to tell people who I really am. So I eventually came out and admitted to everyone that I was gay and that I was in love with Ryan, my boyfriend. The reactions were expected. They were of hate and anger. I was despised because of it. And when I went home my father wasn't happy about the revelation and he…he tried to you know.." Troy looked at the table and done a chopping action to show what he meant. The others gasped and Harry nodded at Troy to continue

"But luckily my mum came in at the exact right time and pulled him away from me. I refused to go to the hospital as I just wanted to have a bath and sleep but during the night I had a fit so I was taken to hospital. I stayed for a week and when I was eventually allowed home I decided to go back to school. But that was not the best decision. All the stares. The pointing. The hatred" Troy looked down at the table and became quiet. He still couldn't believe that his so-called 'friends' could do that to him.

"I understand how it is Troy" James told him confidentially. "I had the same problem. All the people that I thought were my friends, turned their backs on me and treated me like shit because of who I am" This caused all the other boys to nod in agreement.

"So carry on Troy" Harry egged him on.

"So I decided that I couldn't handle all of that yet. I wasn't strong enough to handle all of that yet. So I ran away. I left a letter for my mother and Ryan and packed my stuff. I ended up here but luckily Josh found me after my first day and he brought me here"

"You're lucky it was 3 months before I met Josh. Living on the streets was hell. The whole trying to find a place to live, feed to eat, how I am going to get washed. It was difficult and I didn't think that I could have handled it anymore" Alex told him

"I know what you mean. I was addicted on drugs when Josh found me but he helped me to become clean and allowed me to stay here" James continued and once again some of the others agreed. It seemed to Troy that everybody that was at Jumping Jacks had had a rough life compared to him. He was lucky enough to have only been on the street for a day but some of the other boys had been on the streets for much longer.

They had obviously experienced horrors that Troy could never imagine. No matter how hard he tried. His heart went out to them. It really did. He could see that they had come a long way since Josh had brought them in. And he was pleased to see the efforts that Josh was willing to put in to help them change their lives.

"So do you like it here?" Troy asked. He knew the answer that he was going to give Josh but he just wanted to make sure that he was doing the right thing. He didn't want to regret what he was going to do.

"Yes" was the answer of all of the others. Troy couldn't help but smile. It was great to see that people his age were happy with selling their bodies.

"Well I better go and see Josh" Troy told them as he got up. He took a deep breath and thought about the upcoming meeting that he was about to attend.

"Good bye Troy. We hope to see you soon" Harry smiled. Troy waved and walked downstairs. He stood outside Josh's office and took another deep breath. '_This is it' _he thought. 'Better _now or never_' he said to himself as he knocked on the door.

"Come in" Josh's husky voice replied. Troy slowly opened the door and went inside.

"Good Morning Troy" Josh looked up from his work and smiled at Troy. He noticed that he was looking more refreshed and happy this morning. He knew why Troy had gone there and he hoped that he would be able to welcome Troy as a new member to _Jumping Jacks_.

"Good Morning Josh"

"Take a seat please Troy" Josh pointed to a chair that was in front of the desk. Troy went and sat in front of the desk. He was nervous. He knew that this decision was going to change the rest of his life.

"So Troy we both know why you are here, so lets cut the chit chat and tell me your decision" Josh said abruptly but not rudely.

"I want to accept the offer" Troy told him. He sighed relief and was glad that he had managed to tell Josh that he was willing to accept the job. He knew that it was going to be hard to get used to the idea of selling his body but he also knew that Josh would offer help and support and he would have a place to stay and food to eat at _Jumping Jacks_.

This reply made Josh grin widely. He was hoping that Troy would accept the offer. He stood up and held out his hand to Troy, who also stood up and shook Josh's hand. "Welcome to _Jumping Jacks_ Troy Bolton"

This was the beginning of a new life for Troy. One where he was about to discover that things can be as dangerous as they seem and that this new world isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

* * *

**This chapter is dedicated to my good friend Stephanie who is going to Germany as part of an exchange trip so she will not be able to read any of my updates for a while. So I hope you enjoyed this chapter hun and have fun our your trip.**

**As for the rest of you please let me know what you think by leaving a nice little review :)**


	13. So Called 'Best Friend'

Chad, Jason and Zeke were on their way home excited because of a championship game that was coming up the following week. Chad, the new playmaker for the East High Wildcats, was working them hard to ensure that they were upto standard because they hadn't been able to beat the Albuquerque Dragons for four years. And Chad was going to make sure that they were going to beat them. Whether or not they had Troy.

"So guys, you coming round to practice later?" Chad inquired, pulling his earphones from his ear. He had been listening to '_The Red Hot Chilli Peppers_', his favourite band.

"Sure thing" Jason replied. He was nervous about the upcoming game. He knew that the Albuquerque Dragons were good and that they hadn't bean them in years. He had only played against them twice because he only moved to Albuquerque a few years ago and he hadn't joined the Basketball team until the following year.

"Course" Zeke replied. Zeke couldn't help but feel excited about the fourth coming game, but he couldn't also help wondering if they would be able to do as well as they normally do without Troy.

"Guys what about Troy?" This question caused Jason and Chad to stop and look at him.

"What about that faggot?" Chad spat.

"We need him"

"No we fucking don't" Chad was mad that Zeke wasn't confident with having him as the playmaker. He was just as good as Troy, sometimes better. He was better at free throws.

"Chad listen to yourself. Troy is your best friend for God Sake's and you're treating him like shit just because he is gay. Look it was wrong when we beat Ryan up and it's even more wrong now. So grow the fuck up will you and stop acting like a prick" Zeke shouted and then turned and walked back down the street.

Chad was left stunned. He couldn't believe that Zeke had shouted at him like that. He didn't even know that Zeke could be like that. He took a look over at Jason who was just as shocked as him. Chad sighed and thought about what he had said.

It wasn't true was it? Had he really become that bitchy towards Troy? Troy was his life long friend and he didn't want to lose him. They had been through so much together. They had been through all the trials and tribulations of Junior School and High School together and they always had each other's back.

_Flashback_

_Chad looked around the room of the primary school and couldn't help but feel scared. The room was so big and colourful with one wall being red, one being yellow, one being green and one being blue. Blue was Chad's favourite colour. He held his lunchbox and his juice box to his chest tighter. All the children in the room when running around and smiling wildly talking about what they were going to do that night and that "Boys were icky" and that "Girls have cooties". _

_Chad stayed where he was , watching the other children in the room and feeling lonely and scared. He tried not to cry, he wanted his mother. This was the first day of being at East Primary and he didn't know anyone. His mother was at work so she was unable to come with him for the first day. She had just dropped him off outside the classroom, gave him a kiss and told him to have a 'good day'._

_Chad, being 5, didn't understand what that really meant but he knew that he wasn't going to have one because he didn't know anyone and he was scared. He started to make his way to a desk when he bumped into someone. He looked up at them and apologised_

"_Sorry" he said quietly. He looked at the boy and noticed that he was holding a basketball closely to his chest_

"_It's ok" the boy replied. His hair flopping over his eyes that Chad couldn't help but give off a small smile._

"_Do you like Basketball?" Chad asked_

_The boy nodded "It's my favouwite thing in the world. I wanna be a Basketball plawer"_

"_Me 2"_

"_I'm Troy"_

"_I'm Chad"_

"_Wanna be friends"_

"_Sure" Chad replied and went and sat beside Troy at the table._

_End Flashback_

"Do you think I've become a prick Jas?" he asked calmly. Jason didn't reply. He couldn't. He had acted the same towards Ryan and Troy and Zeke had put things into realisation

"We both have" Jason sighed.

"What happened to us Jas? We never used to be like this"

"I don't know Chad. But I think it's time we changed. So what if they are gay. It doesn't make them any different to us does it?"

Chad shook his head. Jason had made a point. Troy was still the same person that he had always been and just because he liked guys, naming Ryan, that didn't mean that they had to treat them differently. To treat him, and Ryan, like shit. He couldn't believe the person that he had become. The person to beat up another boy because he like guys and to treat his best friend like shit because he admitted that he was gay.

He let out a deep sigh "I can't believe who I have become"

"I'm the same Chad"

"I feel like shit"

"Me too. I am beginning to think that Zeke is making sense. Troy will still always be Troy no matter who he likes"

"I agree"

"Come on lets go and see Troy. We need to try and sort all of this out. He is my best friend and I am not about to lose him because of something as stupid as this" Jason nodded and Chad and Jason turned into the opposite direction and made their way to Troy's unknowing that they were about to learn something that was going to turn their world's upside down.


	14. Troy's First Day

Troy awoke the next morning and then realised that this was going to be the first day on the job. Today he was going to have to sell his body to some client who was probably going to be horny as hell and what him to do things that he hated doing. But that was apart of the contract. Troy had to do whatever the client wanted. It was the client's money not Troy's. Thinking about what he was going to have to do he started to regret his decision about working for Josh. But he had made up his mind and he had agreed so now he had to. If he didn't like it then Josh said that he was allowed to leave willingly. And he was ready to that if he needed to.

He heard the hustle and bustle of the other boys getting ready for what lay ahead. He found it hard to believe that they could be so calm about everything. That they could just go about their daily activities without any worries or concern. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. "Troy, you there?" a voice boomed through the door. It was Jackson. He had come to make sure that Troy was awake.

Troy looked up and sighed slightly. He was hoping that no one would bother him. He just wanted the morning to relax and think about what he was going to do after he had served his first client "Yeah I am Jackson" he replied.

"I just wanted to let you know that breakfast is ready"

"Okay thanks. I'll be there in a minute" Troy replied. He heard Jackson walk back down the corridor and Troy got out of the bed. He quickly changed into trackpants and a t-shirt, sorted out his mop of hair and went into the kitchen. As he entered the kitchen everybody looked up at him and smiled "Morning" they all chimed in chorus. Troy smiled back "morning". He couldn't help but feel as if he had already been accepted into the family and he hadn't even done his first day yet.

Lucas handed a plate to Troy which contained Sausage, Egg, Beans, Toast and Tomatoes. "You need to eat. The first day is always the hardest". Troy nodded and took the plate "Thanks Lucas"

"Call me Luke please" Lucas smiled as he took his place at the table. Everybody kept their eyes on Troy. They knew that this was his first day and they all understood how nervous he was. They had all been the same when it was their first day.

"Okay Luke" Troy laughed and started to eat his food. He was still feeling nervous about what was going to happen soon. He knew that Josh was going to assign him someone he would be expecting someone with experience and confidence and Troy wasn't going to be that person. Sure he was confident when he was with Ryan but he knew Ryan. He could trust Ryan. He couldn't do that with someone that he didn't know.

After breakfast Troy went down to Josh's office as he was told to the night before by Josh. He looked at the front door and couldn't help but think about leaving and not going through what he was about to go through. But he didn't. He couldn't. That wouldn't be showing Josh respect and he had to because he had took him off the streets and gave him this chance to make something of his life. It wasn't exactly the best thing to do in life but right now it was all that Troy Bolton could do. He couldn't go anywhere else and he didn't have anywhere else to stay.

He took a deep breath and knocked on Josh's door. "Come in" a gruff voice replied. Troy slowly opened the door and walked in. Josh, who was currently working out the books for that month, stopped and looked up at Troy. With a smile on his face.

"Sit down Troy" Josh said and Troy went and sat down in one of the chairs in front of Josh's desk. He took a look around the room and noticed that it wasn't much bigger than the room that he was staying in. There were a couple of units and bookcases where he kept all the files and books needed to keep "Jumping Jacks" running.

There were also a couple of shelves that held pictures and ornaments. One picture had a picture of Josh with his arms wrapped around another man and he had a huge smile on his face. '_Must be his boyfriend_' Troy thought. He looked at Josh and noticed that he looked quite fatigued.

"Good morning Troy. How are you feeling today?" Josh asked him calmly.

"I'm good thanks. A lot better now that I have had something to eat. But still a little nervous" '_A little nervous is an understatement_' Troy thought.

Josh nodded. He knew how it was. He could remember every boy's first day and how they would feel just before they were about to be assigned their first client. He understood what Troy must be feeling. Josh felt the same when his mentor had took him before. But he also knew that after the first few times he would begin to settle in and he would be apart of the family.

"Are you ready for your first client Troy?"

This was the question that Troy was dreading the most. Would he truly be ready for this? Would he always feel the same way even in a few months time? He wouldn't know. And he wouldn't know unless he answered Josh.

"I think so"

"Don't worry Troy. Everybody is like this for the first time. You will soon get used to it. I promise" Troy just nodded. He wasn't so sure but he was going to listen to Josh. He knew what he was talking about. Afterall, he had been through the same thing when he was about Troy's age.

"Your first client is called Carl. He is a tall, medium build, dark hair and blue eyed 36 year old. He is having problems in his marriage and he needs a release. He doesn't expect much so that is why I have assigned him to you. Just make sure that you give him his release and don't forget to talk to him to let him get all of his anger and problems out"

Troy looked at Josh as he said this. He took in all the information that he had told him. But one thing confused him and he knew that he had to ask the question. "But if he is married, why turn to a guy?"

"Because Carl is bi-sexual but he has stronger feelings for females than he does males. You will meet him in the hall and you will take him to room four" As Josh said this he handed a key for room four to Troy, who took it.

"Thanks Josh"

"You will be fine Troy" Josh smiled and watched as Troy left the room. He knew that Troy would be alright. He was a strong character and he wouldn't let his persistence put him down. He knew that Troy would be able to fit into the family and he would be able to cope with whatever is thrown at him. Going by what he had told him about why he was there he had already been through a lot and he deserved a break from pain.

Outside Troy looked around the hall and saw Carl sitting in one of the couches. He was just as Josh had described him: tall, dark haired and blue eyed. He smiled as he saw Troy approaching, he stood up and held out his hand for Troy to shake. "I'm Carl" he said

"Troy" Troy replied calmly although he could feel his hand beginning to shake as he pulled it away and looked at Carl. He couldn't believe that he was about to have sex with a 36 year old. It didn't seem ethical but he knew that he couldn't complain.

"I understand you're a newbie at 'Jumping Jacks'?" asked Carl

"Yeah I am" Troy replied nervously. This comment made Carl smile wider.

"Don't worry about it. I can help you"

Troy didn't reply. He just made his way to room four and unlocked the door. He looked around the room and noticed that it was quite romantic. The walls were a mixture of red and pink and had a faint floral pattern as a border. There was a large four poster bed made up nicely and there was a beside cabinet that had a lamp. He also noticed that on the cabinet there were a pile of condoms.

Troy waited until Carl entered the room and then he closed to door. He made his way to the bed and let Carl sit beside him. "So I heard that your marriage is having problems. I shouldn't worry about it. I'm sure that it will work out correctly" Troy started. He wasn't sure if he was meant to start like this or if he was supposed to talk about his marriage but he didn't know what to talk about.

Carl didn't seem to be mad at Troy rising this subject and seemed quite pleased that he was able to talk about his failing marriage. "I'm not so sure Troy. Things haven't been going right for the past year. Susan says that I am concentrating more on my work than I am her. But I can't help it. The business is struggling and I need to work more hours to be able to solve the problems and to make sure that the business doesn't go into liquidation"

"Well maybe you could just take one day a week off so that you are able to take her out for a romantic meal and to show her that you do love her and do want the marriage to continue. It is what you want isn't it?"

"I'm not sure anymore. And I don't love her. I mean I do love her but I am not IN love with her anymore. She doesn't seem to make an effort with her appearance anymore and she just seems to spend most of her time moaning at me for never being around"

Carl could feel the tears beginning to form. It was nice that he was able to talk about his problems to someone. Troy could relate to how he was feeling. He was feeling the same about Ryan. He felt as if he hadn't been paying him any attention and now that he had left he wasn't paying attention to him. He hadn't even contacted him to let him know where he was.

"I'm sure if you make an effort she will make an effort" Troy didn't know how he was managing to keep being able to give advice but the answers just seemed to come naturally to him.

"I guess. But right now all I want to make an effort on is you" Carl replied seductively and with that he leant in and placed a rough kiss on Troy's lips. Troy returned the kiss and he was gently pushed down onto the bed. Carl didn't waste no time in getting what he wanted. Within a few seconds both he and Troy were down to their boxer shorts and Carl was now running his hand down Troy's chest until he reached his crotch.

He reached into Troy's boxer shorts and started to fondle around with Troy's manhood. "Hmm" Troy moaned into Carl's mouth as Carl continued to pump Troy's now hardening member. Troy could feel Carl becoming hard against his leg and knew that he would soon be wanting to have sex with him.

Carl then turned Troy over and Troy got up on his knees and he watched as Carl positioned himself behind Troy. Carl placed his arms on Troy's waist. "Ready?" he asked.

Troy nodded and watched as Carl thrust himself inside of him. "Ugh" Troy moaned loudly. Carl was big and he found himself finding it a little painful as Carl thrust himself in and out continuously but Troy wasn't going to moan about it. It was his job to let Carl have the release and the pleasure that he needed.

Carl began to get more furious with the thrusting as he thought his wife and his failing marriage. He thrusted hard into Troy "Susan" he grunted. Troy didn't say anything. He knew that Carl was thinking about what his wife is putting him through and he was under a lot of stress that he needed to get out. He just stayed there, moving his hips to meet Carl's thrusts and moaning.

After Carl had left Troy left room number four and went straight to his bedroom. He couldn't believe that he had just done that. He couldn't believe that he had just had sex with a stranger. And for money. Troy closed the door and sat on the end of his bed and started to cry. He didn't ever want to think that he would get into this position. That he would stoop so low that he would end up selling his own body. But he had. And he hated it.

He couldn't think that he would be able to continue with this. He felt dirty. He felt as if he couldn't clean his skin, that there would always be a mark that would show what he had done that day. There was no escaping that he had sold his body. He asked himself would he be able to continue doing what he was doing. Would he be able to keep selling his body? Was that what his life was to become? A life of prostitution?

Troy began to cry harder, thinking about what he had done. Jackson was walking down the corridor when he heard a slight sobbing coming from Troy's bedroom. He went closer to Troy's room and rested his head against the door. Sure enough it was Troy. And he was crying. '_I wonder what's wrong_' Jackson asked himself quietly. And then he remembered. Troy had just had his first client. '_I was the same way'_ he thought as he remembered the first time that he had his first client.

He knocked gently on the door "Troy?". He waited for a reply. At first there was no answer but then he heard a muffled "Come in" and he entered the room. Troy looked up as Jackson came into his room and then he looked back at the floor.

Jackson went and sat beside Troy and put an arm around Troy's shoulders.

"It's okay Troy. I know what it's like. I have been through it myself. Just cry it out and soon it will get better. I promise"

Troy looked at home but didn't reply. Jackson continued "It took me about three weeks before I started to become comfortable with selling my body but now I am settled in and I am able to do it. I know that it isn't the best way to go in life, but right now it is all I know. I am hoping to go to college and get a proper job and make something of my life."

Troy smiled weakly at Jackson. He was inspired by him. He wasn't downhearted because of what he was doing but he kept going and he was willing to change his life. And that made Troy respect Jackson more. "I don't think I can get used to it"

"You will soon Troy. I promise. It is not easy at first. We have all been through the same" Troy nodded and slowly leant in and kissed Jackson. Jackson returned the kiss and pushed Troy gently down onto the bed. Troy wrapped his arms around Jackson and closed his eyes as he deepened the kiss.

After a few seconds Troy pulled away from Jackson and gently pushed him off himself. Jackson looked at him confused, not understanding what had just happened. "I can't do this Jackson. I'm sorry"

"But…" Jackson started

Troy shook his head "I can't. I love Ryan. I can't cheat on him"

"But sleeping with the clients is cheating Troy" and with that Jackson got up and walked out of the room, gently closing the door behind him. Troy was left just watching the space where Jackson was stood. He knew that he had made a point. He was cheating on Ryan when he was sleeping with the clients. This made him start thinking about Ryan.

"_How is he coping with everything?_" He thought and wiped away the tears that were beginning to form. He was missing Ryan so much already. It had only been a few days that they had been parted but to Troy it felt like a century. He wasn't used to not having Ryan around now. He missed the way that Ryan would hold him in his arms, the way he would pout when he wouldn't get his own way, the way he would smile seductively as he leaned in and kissed him.

He wanted to be with Ryan again. But he couldn't. But to be with Ryan would mean that he would have to go back home and he wasn't ready to face everyone again. He wasn't ready to listen to the taunts, to the snigger as he walked down the streets. He was too weak to cope with it all. He wasn't the strong, confident person that he pretended to be. He was a weakling. A coward. A person who couldn't cope with a few comments. '_How could Ryan ever love me_?' He asked himself.

He laid down on the bed and hugged the pillow tightly. All he wanted to do was to go back home. Back home to his friends, to his mother, and least of all back to Ryan. But he couldn't. He just couldn't. He wouldn't.


	15. A Chad and Jason Chapter

**Sorry about the long wait for the chapter. I was ultra busy and then I didnt have any inspiration. This is a very short chapter that I thought I would put in to show Chads (and some of Jason's) views and feelings towards Troy running away. The next chapter should be up some and will be better than this chapter and will have a lot more action in it. Please review and enjoy the chapter.**

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Chad and Jason walked up the driveway to Troy's house. They could see that Sharpay's pink Mustang was there and also Ryan's was too. When they knocked on the door they began to feel that something was wrong and their suspicions were confirmed when a crying Gabriella opened the door. She stood there shocked as she saw them and tried to wipe away the tears. '_What do they want?_' she thought to herself. She really wasn't in the mood for them today. Especially since they have been treating Troy like shit. She blamed them fro Troy disappearing.

"Gabs…what's wrong?" Chad asked calmly. He hadn't seen Gabriella cry before and he definitely knew that something was up. And he also knew that he wasn't going to like it.

"Like you'd care, but Troy..." she choked back a sob before she continued "He…He's gone missing. He ran away" she broke down in tears again and was surprised when Chad pulled her into an embrace.

"OMG" was all Chad could say and Jason was left speechless. Troy gone? Missing? Disappeared? Chad couldn't get his thoughts together. He couldn't believe that his best friend, _ex_-best friend, had run away. He didn't need to question why he did. He already knew the reason. And the reason was him.

Jason just stood there contemplating what he had just been told. Troy had run away? It would stay in his mind. A sudden surge of guilt hit him and he bowed his head in shame. He knew that he was on of the reasons why Troy had left. They had been nasty to him.

Chad pulled away from Gabriella and wiped away the tears that were under her eyes. "We're sorry Gabriella. We truly are. We didn't realise just how much of a prick we were and we came to apologise to him"

"Well he's not here and it's because of you" Gabriella spat. She knew that she had the right to be angry. After all they were one of the main reasons that Troy had run away. And they were supposed to be his best friends. Being a best friend means that you don't look at who they are as a person but look inside and accept and be supportive of them no matter who they choose to be. But Chad and Jason couldn't do that.

"We know we screwed up Gab but we really do want to apologise to Troy and to tell him that we are supportive of him being…gay" it was hard for Chad to say the word but Zeke had a point. Troy really hadn't changed just because he was gay. He was still the same person, he just liked guys instead of girls. And they shouldn't have judged him, or Ryan, because of that.

Gabriella sighed when she realised that Chad and Jason were really willing to forget everything they had done and said and were willing to give Troy, and hopefully Ryan, the chance that they deserved. She nodded and they followed her into the house.

When Chad and Jason entered the house the first thing that they noticed was the atmosphere. It was dark and miserable and you could obviously tell that something was up. They entered into the living room and saw Sharpay hugging Alison and Gabriella went and put her arms back around round. They all looked up and saw Chad and Jason standing in the doorway.

Ryan immediately turned into defensive mode "What the hell are you doing here?"

"We came to apologise to Troy" Jason said stepping closer to Ryan.

"Well he doesn't want to talk to YOU" Ryan spat. He couldn't believe that he had the nerve to come and apologise to his boyfriend after everything they had put him through. He was the reason that he had last his boyfriend. The reason why he had spent the last 18 hours crying. The reason why he might never see Troy again.

"Look Ryan, we know that he's runaway but we really do want to sort things out. We're sorry that we acted like such jerks to you. We shouldn't have, just because you're gay doesn't mean that you are any different and we should have had the chance to properly know you. And we feel the same way about Troy. He is still the same person as he always has been its just that he's dating you now" he stopped for a while, took a deep breath and continued "And we just wanted you guys to know that we accept your relationship and we are going to be there for you from now am. And we're sorry"

Ryan gently pushed Gabriella's arm away, stood up and walked towards Chad. "Sorry? Sorry? Do you know what you put him through? You kicked him off the basketball team just because you losers are too afraid of anything that you don't understand and as for me. I thought we were friends and then you suddenly turned on me just because you saw me making out with another guy. What the hell is wrong with you Chad? Are you really that shallow-minded? Well I guess you are. So why don't you take your self, and your apology, and get the hell out of here, because guess what? I don't accept it" Ryan pushed past Chad and ran upstairs to Troy's room.

Chad was left stunned. What was he really expecting? He didn't really expect Ryan to open him with open arms did he? Gabriella got up and hugged Chad

"It's okay I'll talk to him. He just needs time to calm down and re-adjust. We will let you know if there is any news about Troy" Chad and Jason nodded and left the house. They had to find Troy. They just had to.

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**The next day**

Ryan, Chad, Gabriella, Mrs Bolton, Jason and Sharpay were in the Bolton's livingroom. Chad, who Ryan had invited but had not completely forgiven, was pacing around the room. They had been trying to think of places where Troy could have gone but they couldn't think of any places. Mrs Bolton had been calling some of her relatives to see if he had gone there but he hadn't. Now everybody was beginning to worry. It meant that Troy was still in Albuquerque but they had checked most of the city and there was no sign of Troy.

"Will you stop pacing around the room Chad, you're going to wear a hole in the carpet" Gabriella stated, getting annoyed at Chad's constant pacing. Chad stopped and looked at Gabriella.

"Sorry. I'm just nervous. I mean this isn't usually like Troy to disappear like this"

"Oh well I wonder why he done it eh Chad?" Ryan snapped

"Look man I've said I was sorry okay. What more do I have to do?"

Once again Ryan could feel his skin boil as Chad was talking to him. Chad seemed to think that just because he had apologised to him and Troy that he could just walk back into their life and act like nothing had happened. Ryan used to look up to Chad, used to think that he was a good role model, but after Chad started abusing him because he discovered that he was gay. And now Ryan hated Chad. Hated the pain and the hurt that Chad had caused him.

"You can't just walk back into our lives and act like you haven't done anything Chad. You have caused me and Troy so much pain and yet you act like it was a simple argument over summit stupid such as hair gel Chad, so sorry if you haven't got the reaction that you wanted but I ain't ready to forgive you until you prove that you have god damn changed" Ryan took a deep breath and a couple of tears rolled down his cheeks. Sharpay got up and wrapped an arm around her brother giving a look at Chad of anger.

"I know man. But that's why I'm here. I am trying to show you that I've changed. That I really AM willing to accept yours and Troy's relationship. Just please, give me the chance to prove that I've changed" he looked at Jason "Both of us"

Ryan gave a weak nod and went slowly up to his bedroom. He needed to think things through. So much had happened in the last couple of days and it was weighing heavily on Ryan's heart. He wasn't used to this much pressure. And the one person who could help him, wasn't there. Mind you if he was then he wouldn't be having all this weight on him.

He laid down on his bed, placed his head in his pillow and started crying. He needed Troy back and although it had only been two days since his boyfriend had disappeared he had a strong feeling that he would never see him again. He just wished that Troy would stick to his promise and would call him to let him know that he was safe at least. But he hadn't.

Meanwhile, Mrs Bolton and Sharpay had gone out for a drive around Albuquerque once again looking for Troy. They were not going to give up hope. They knew that he was somewhere and they were not going to sleep until they knew that he was home and that he was safe.

Chad, Jason and Gabriella were writing a list of places that they had checked and a list of places that they hadn't checked around Albuquerque. One part of Albuquerque that they didn't write down was the rough part where there were sex clubs, prostitutes and drugs. They didn't think that Troy was so stupid as to go to there. But they didn't know how wrong they were.

So very wrong.


	16. The Letter

**Title**: Life is hard when you're gay

**Summary**: Troy discovers the consequences of coming out and struggles to cope with life but Ryan is there beside him whenever things get too bad.

**Pairing**: Troy x Ryan

**Rating**: 'M' for Swearing, Sex, Rape, Alcohol and Drug Abuse and Self Harming

**Author's Notes**: Sorry about the long wait, I couldn't think of anything to write. I had a complete writer's block when it came to this story and then I lost all inspiration for any writing but I am coming back to it slowly. You may have noticed that I have not been writing Tryans lately and that I have been writing Fullmetal Alchemist fanfics, this is because I am totally addicted to that show. You should check it out. Anyways back to this story, I hope you like this chapter and I am going to be trying to update it at least once a week now.

On the 8th it has been a year since Life Is Tough was first published. I can't believe it. I really thought I would have been able to have it completed since the first anniversary but ahwell.

**Disclaimer**: I got the DVD, CD, Dance Mat and Calendar do you really think I own it? Oh But I do own Jules and Josh and Lucas and everyone else who works in 'Jumping Jacks'

The sun was shining brightly in the sky, the birds were chirping loudly and the river nearby could be heard gushing past the rocks. There was no activity outside, no parents screaming, no kids laughing. Well nothing except for the young blonde haired teen walking down the street, hands in pockets, head facing the ground.

Troy Bolton had awoke at 4:45am. His mind was troubled. It had been two weeks since he had left Central Albuquerque and arrived at Downtown Albuquerque and things had been getting him down lately. He missed his friends, his missed his family and most of all he missed his boyfriend. Ryan, oh how he didn't deserve to be with him. Ryan deserved someone who wouldn't run away at the first sign of trouble, someone who would be able to handle a relationship, someone who would be able to stand up to the taunts that came his way. But he couldn't. He couldn't be the person that Ryan deserved. He would always be a coward. The person who ran away when someone abused him because he was gay.

Troy hated himself because of it. He hated the fact that he wasn't as strong as people thought he was. In fact, Troy was the opposite. He always had the appearance of being strong, but he wasn't. He was like everybody else. He got scared, he got afraid and most of all he cried. And now he had proven it. He had run away at the first sign of trouble. Left his boyfriend to face everything that was happening, left him to face the taunts.

A small tear rolled down Troy's cheek. He wanted to go home. He wanted to be in Ryan's arms again. He wanted to wake up to the smell of his mothers' pancakes, to the warmth of his boyfriend. But instead he awoke to the sound of tramps begging for money, to teens running around getting ready for their days work, to the terror of facing another day selling his body.

That was what Troy was afraid of the most. Selling his body. Although he had been doing it for two weeks it still hurt him knowing what he was doing and it still made him afraid. He didn't know what the people were going to be like. He didn't know what would happen if he didn't satisfy them enough. Lucas had told him once that he had been put in hospital for 3 weeks because one of his clients wasn't satisfied with what Lucas had given him so he beat him up and raped him causing him to lose a lot of blood and to have 3 broken ribs and a broken arm. Troy was alarmed when Lucas had told him this but Lucas convinced him that not everyone was like that. There were some psychos in the world but not to worry because Josh was careful about who he let in and who he didn't. But it didn't stop Troy from worrying.

The first week had been the hardest for Troy. The thought of selling his body for money made him physically sick. As he went to his first customer he could feel himself shaking. He felt weak. He had gone lower than low. And he was so disappointed about what he had turned to but it was his decision and he wasn't going to let "Jumping Jacks" down. After the session was over Troy hated himself. He hated the fact that he had actually gone ahead and done that. He had to clean himself, he had felt dirty. He scrubbed his self clean and went to bed crying himself to sleep.

After that things had begun to get easier but it still didn't make things better for Troy. He still hated selling his body but he did it anyways and he soon become popular. He started to get repeat customers. Lucas had provided Troy with an important piece of advice that Troy used until this day

"_Don't think about it. Just go about it."_

And Troy thought about that everytime he had to sleep with someone. He didn't let it get to him. He didn't think about what was happening he just went about the chore, took the money and waited until the next customer came. It wasn't until the night that he showed his emotions. He would stay in his room, staring at the walls as the tears rolled down his cheeks as he thought about everything that he was giving up.

He thought about writing a letter to let them know how he was but he wasn't so sure. Would the letter be tracked if he sent it? What would he say: Hi I'm fine. Please move on? He didn't think so. But then he remembered that he promised them he would write to them. Promised to let them know where he was.

The sun began to shine in his eyes so he had to use his hand to cover his eyes and he started to make his way back to the club. The place he called home. On the way he noticed the local tramp Jules walking up an alleyway so he increased his speed to catch up to him. "Hey Jules" he shouted as Jules was a little deaf in his left ear.

The tramp turned around as he saw Troy and smiled "Well hi Mr Troy. What are you doing up this time of the morning? Work doesn't start until 11:30 does it?"

"I couldn't sleep, I've got things on my mind. And I've told you Jules just call me Troy" Troy told the tramp but he couldn't help but smile. Jules cared about Troy, although he had only known him for a few days. Troy would often stop and chat to Jules when he was on a break.

He had learnt that Jules had been through a messy divorce and was left with nothing which was why he ended up in Downtown Albuquerque. Troy and Jules sat down on a pile of crates down the alley and Troy sighed putting his hands. "What's the matter Mister Troy?"

"I don't want to bother you Jules"

"You won't. I'm your friend. It's what I'm here for"

Troy smiled slightly. It was nice to know that he had a friend. Friends were what he needed right now. Besides he needed someone to talk to. Someone that didn't work in 'Jumping Jacks'. So he spilled his heart to the friendly tramp.

"I miss everyone. I miss my mother and the way she would nag me to get up in the mornings and the way she would always make me chocolate chip pancakes on a Saturday morning. I miss my friends, I miss playing basketball but most of all I miss my boyfriend. I miss being able to be in his arms, being able to feel his body pressed against mine"

Jules just sat there listening to Troy. He had been the same. He missed his family. When he and his wife divorced she had taken his son with him. He hadn't seen him in three years and everyday he felt like there was a place missing in his heart. A place that needed to be filled. But never would be. He had taken to the streets and three years later he was still there, searching for food and sleeping on the floor. He hated it but what could he do it about? He didn't have any money to live anywhere.

"And I hate what I'm doing to myself. I mean I'm selling my body for God's sakes. I shouldn't be doing that. I'm 17. I should be out with my friends, having fun, getting drunk and being shouted at by my mother for being drunk underage. I should be acting like a normal teenager"

Jules placed an arm around Troy and spoke softly "Troy you have got your whole life ahead of you. There are always going to be obstacles and people that don't agree with the decisions that you make but you have to learn to ignore them. People like that don't matter. They can't be your friends if they can't accept you for who you really are"

Troy knew that he was right. It was the age old saying _"Those who mind don't matter and those who don't mind matter". _He thought that he knew Chad and Jason. He thought he could trust them. But he was wrong. Very wrong. He can't believe that they would turn on him. He was still the same Troy, he just wished that they would see that.

"Let them know you're okay Troy. I think they deserve that at least don't you?" Jules replied as he stood up and started walking back down the alleyway, leaving Troy to think about what he had said.

Back in his room Troy stared at the piece of paper that was on the desk in front of him. He had decided to write a letter but he didn't know how to start it. There was a pile of scrumpled paper lying beside the waste paper basket that contained the failed letters. He sat back down at the table and picked up the pen.

_Dear Mum, Ryan, Sharpay, Gabriella_

_I have no idea how to do this. Usually I don't have any problems writing letters but this one is difficult somehow. Maybe because I know what I have done. I left you. I'm sorry for that I really am I just couldn't cope with it. Call me coward, I know I am, but I couldn't handle the taunts. I have gone from beloved Golden Boy to Gay boy. Do you have any idea how that feels._

_Ryan. I'm so sorry babe. I wish I was as strong as you. I wish that I was able to walk around and ignore the comments that have been thrown at me but I can't. I really feel guilty that I have left you but I couldn't stay there. I suggest you move on and find someone else because you deserve someone better. I wish you all the luck in the future Ry. I love you so much._

_Mum. I'm sorry for upsetting you like I have. I know that you won't ever give up looking for me but I am not going back. I can't. I hate to say it because I am going to miss you so much. I will miss you nagging at me to wake up in the mornings, I'll miss the smell of your chocolate chip pancakes, the smell of your perfume and the way you could always make me feel better in the worst situations._

_Sharpay and Gabriella. God you two are my best friends. I seriously wouldn't know what I would do without you to. You are the only ones of my friends that have stuck by me no matter what and you have supported me through everything. I am so thankful for that. I want to apologise for not being strong enough to handle this. I'm sorry I'm not the person you think I am._

_I'm fine I promise. I have some great new friends that are taking care of me and making sure that I don't get into any trouble. I have a nice place to live and food on the table and a room that I can call my own so don't worry. The people around here are nice enough so I'm not in any danger…well immediate danger. I have had time to think over the last two weeks and I have come to the conclusion that I am not going back. I can't. It's best that I stay where I am. It's the best for everyone. I hope that you are all able to get on with your life, you don't need me, all I am going to do is to cause you pain and hurt and you don't deserve it._

_I always thought that I knew people. Always thought I could trust those that I called friends but I guess I was wrong. Chad and Jason disowned me the day they found out I was in love with Ryan. That what hurt the most. I thought they would be able to accept me but I was wrong. I guess you really do find out who your true friends are in dire times. I wish I could let them know just how much they have hurt me but to be honest I don't care. If they aren't there for me why should I bother with them._

_But one thing is for sure, I know that I can trust all of you. I know you will always be there for me if I decide to come back (I might do some day) and I know that you will always love me no matter what. You guys are truly my friends. I love you all very much and am so sorry for causing you any pain. I hope you will be able to forgive me. All the best_

_Troy_

_Xxx_

He finished writing the letter and placed it into an envelope that he had asked Josh for earlier. He would post the letter the following day. He had asked Josh about the nearest post office and the delivery times. He just hoped that they wouldn't be able trace the letter. He didn't need them discovering where he was living. What he was doing. He knew they would be disappointed in him if they found out.

A small tear rolled down his cheek as he licked the envelope closed and leant it against the wall. He looked at his clock 8:30am. He yawned but he couldn't go back to sleep. There was no point, the other boys would be getting up and getting ready for the day ahead. So instead he took a quick shower, got dressed and joined the other boys for breakfast before getting ready for the day that was ahead of him.


	17. Closure & Release

**Chapter 16**

Troy sighed as he slumped onto his bed. He had had a long day as one of his customers had insisted that he didn't wear a condom when he was thrusting into Troy. This was completely against the rules but the guy was adamant that he wasn't going to wear one. The guy became forceful towards Troy and Troy was forced to press the panic button, which was situated under the top of cabinet in every room. The button was linked to Josh's office and would alert him to the room in which the button had been pressed. Within a few seconds Josh, followed by a couple of burly security guards entered the room and pulled the guy off Troy. Whilst the security guards removed the guy from the building Josh sat down and asked Troy if he was ok. Troy nodded and told him that he was just a little shaken up but he hadn't been hurt.

"Take the rest of the day off, take a shower and maybe go into town" Josh put a comforting arm around Troy.

"Are you sure? Don't you need me here?"

Josh shook his head "There are plenty of you working today, besides you could do with taking a break, you're shaking" Troy hadn't noticed that he was shaking until Josh had mentioned it. That guy trying to force himself on Troy had obviously had a bigger effect on him than he originally thought. He nodded and thanked Josh for letting him have the rest of the day off.

He stripped and put a towel around his waist deciding that he would go and take a shower to calm his nerves. He made his way to the shower and turned on the switch, removing the table and placing it onto the hook. He stepped under the water and let out a soft sigh as the hot water ran over his body. He grabbed the soap and placed a small amount on his hand and began to lather the soap into his body. He ran his hand down his chest and onto his member. He slowly began to lather himself up and let out a soft moan as his hand moved up and down his shaft. He began to pump faster placing a hand onto the wall for support. He closed his eyes and let out another moan. As he began to pump faster his breathing increased and he found Ryan's name rolling off his tongue as he became closer.

He didn't hear Jackson walking into the bathroom, didn't see him standing there watching Troy as he was jerking off. Jackson walked over to Troy and placed his hand onto Troy's chest. Troy jumped and opened his eyes in surprise, shocked to see that Jackson was standing extremely close to him with his hand on his body.

"Don't stop" Jackson whispered quietly and looked down and continued to watch as Troy carried on pleasuring himself. Jackson bit his lip and placed his hand on his now hardened member and began to stroke. The two boys moaned in unison and both came together, with Jackson leaning against Troy's frame. Troy's chest heaved up and down as he breathed fast and he placed an arm around Jackson, just holding him close.

Jackson looked up and placed a kiss upon Troy's lips and then pulled back with an apologetic look on his face. "I'm sorry Troy. I er I'm gonna go" he turned around and started to make his way back out of the bathroom but he was stopped by Troy who placed his hand on his and turned him back around.

"Don't be" was Troy's reply and he placed a kiss on Jackson's lips. Jackson returned the kiss and placed a hand on Troy's cheek and bit Troy's bottom lip asking for entry. Troy was more than happy to oblige and opened his mouth and entwined his tongue with Jackson's, running his hand over the boys small frame.

Troy thought about how could Jackson tasted and soft his skin was. He ran his hand through the boys hair and noted it was similar to Ryan's. Soft and fluffy, and he pushed against him causing Jackson to let out a soft moan into the kiss. That was more than enough for Troy and he pulled away from the kiss gently and got on his knees, taking Jackson into his mouth. Jackson groaned and placed an arm onto the wall for support and used the other hand to run his fingers through Troy's hair. As Troy increased the speed Jackson increased his breathing and sometimes thrust his hips as Troy placed his member into his mouth.

After a couple of minutes Jackson came and Troy was more than happy to swallow. He pulled back and kissed up Jackson's body until he was face to face with him and he let out a smile

"Wow" Jackson said with a grin on his face "That was amazing Troy"

"Yeah it was" Troy replied and placed another kiss on the boy's soft lips, wrapping his arms around him. He wasn't Ryan but he gave Troy what he needed. Closure.

**Sorry about the long wait guys, I have totally been out of the HSM loop (but HSM3 woo) and didn't have inspiration for this story but I am trying to write more as I am going to university in 2 weeks and may not have time to write anymore. I have a small idea of how I want the story to go, I know how I want it to end and have an idea for a sequel but I lost my ideas for it and am trying to remember what is going to happen. Sorry that Troy is getting together with Jackson but I swear that Ryan will be making an appearance soon. Thanks for still reading and please review to let me know that you still keep up with the story. I will try and add another chapter this weekend.**


	18. Regrets?

**Wow. It's been a while hasn't it? Sorry about the LONG wait for the update. I just couldn't find myself to get inspiration for the story but I finally came up with something. It's a little crap and I promise that the future chapters will be better (and hopefully quicker, but I have finals in January and I really need to pass). For all of those who just want Troy and Ryan to get together...yeah you have a while to wait but it will happen soon. Anyways on with the chapter.****Chapter 17**

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Troy awoke when he felt a hand running over his chest. He let out a small sigh as the wondering hand roamed his body. He opened an eye and saw a mop of blonde hair and felt a smile tugging at the side of his mouth. He ran his hand through the blonde hair and noticed that it felt a little more matted than it should do. Especially in the mornings. He opened his other eye and took a look at the figure that was lying on top of him. It definitely wasn't the body of his lover. He jumped slightly when the face looked up at him and smiled

"Jackson" Troy exclaimed as his mind went back to what had happened the previous night. He can't believe that he had slept with Jackson. He had needed a release but did that mean that he had to sleep with the blonde haired boy? He was dating Ryan. Or was he? He wasn't sure anymore but he knew that what he and Jackson had done was wrong.

"Morning Babe" Jackson smiled as he sat up and placed a soft kiss upon Troy's lips. Troy instantly pulled away, but immediately felt guilty, especially after what he had allowed himself to do the previous night. Jackson looked a little upset but it was expected.

"Is something wrong?" Jackson asked calmly sitting at the end of the bed.

"Last night was a mistake" Troy replied then realised what he had said. He hadn't meant to say it, it had just come out. Did he mean it? He wasn't sure. At the time he was happy. Happy that he was able to make a connection with somebody, to get the release that he had needed. But now, it felt as if he had cheated on Ryan and now he was regretting that he had let it happen.

He looked over at Jackson and saw the expression on his face and felt the guilt rise to the back of his throat. It Jackson it had meant something whilst Troy had just used it as an escape. "Jackson, I…" Troy started but Jackson interrupted him.

"It doesn't matter Troy. I understand why you did it. I truly do. You just needed to get a release and I was there to help you give it" Troy could tell by his voice that Jackson was fighting back the tears, his voice was choked as he spoke but he didn't want to say anything. It was his fault that Jackson was upset. He had gotten Jackson's hopes up that maybe there was something between him but all Troy had wanted was closure. To feel his body pressed again someone else's

"Jackson please. I didn't mean to hurt you" he said with concern in his voice. He looked over at the blonde getting dressed and wished that he hadn't said what he had. But the damage was done now and there was no taking it back.

"You haven't hurt me Troy. I mean I do this for a living. I'm used to being used" and with that he left. Troy sighed. He had been an idiot. He had hurt the one person that he felt closest too there and he wasn't sure if he would talk to him again. But then again he deserved it. Jackson was right. Troy had used him. Used him for his own sexual gratification.

Troy looked at the clock and noticed that it was nearly time to start another day. She he got dressed quickly and made his way downstairs where he waited until his first customer.

* * *

After a long day Troy made his way back to his bedroom. On the way there he passed Jackson's room and stopped. He hesitated before knocking softly on the door. He hoped that Jackson would want to talk to him. He was about to walk off when the door opened and there stood the young blonde that Troy had hurt.

"Troy…hi" Jackson didn't give Troy any eye contact. But who could blame him?

"Can we talk? Please?"

Jackson nodded and stepped aside to allow Troy to enter. Once inside Jackson closed the door he motioned for Troy to sit down and promptly sat down on the end of the bed.

"So talk" Jackson had a hint of anger in his voice.

Troy took a deep breath and looked at Jackson. "Look I'm sorry about what I said this morning. It wasn't a mistake. It just…wasn't meant to happen, but I don't regret it. At least I don't think I do. You were right, I was looking for a release and you were that release. But I didn't mean to hurt you. I didn't think about you at the time. I'm not looking for a relationship Jackson, I'm truly sorry, I love Ryan. I always will"

"I know Troy" Jackson replied gloomily. He did have feelings for Troy but he knew that Troy's heart belonged to Ryan. He tried to get rid of his feelings but he couldn't and when he and Troy had slept together, it looked as if things may change but that didn't turn out true.

"I'm just afraid of going home. I can't handle all the pain. The taunts. The comments. People were looking at me wherever I went, there were whispers everywhere I turned. I couldn't stand people looking at me because I was dating a guy instead of because I was the Playmaker of the Basketball Team"

"I understand that Troy. I had the same when I was back home. It was one of the reasons I came here. Some people just cant seem to accept that people can be attracted to the same sex. It's hard I know but it gets easier Troy. I promise"

Troy bit his lip and looked away. He had left Ryan to cope with all the comments and the taunts because he was too weak to ignore them. To weak to fight to prove his love for Ryan. "I just wish I could erase the pain. Even if just for a few seconds"

"I have something that could help"

Troy looked back at Jackson. "Yeah?"

Jackson nodded and reached into the drawer beside his bed and pulled out a small bag. He handed it to Troy, who took it but was confused.

"What is this?"

"Cocaine" was the single answer that Jackson provided.


	19. No Going Back

**Chapter 18**

The word kept running through Troy's mind. "Cocaine". He knew what that drug could do to a person. It could cause a person to become impotent, depressed and paranoid when taken regularly and in some cases could lead to death when a person undertakes an overdose. He always told himself that he would never turn to drugs, but at the moment, he found himself contemplating the thought. He looked at the bag filled with the white powder that would instantly take all his pain and his worries away.

"So, what do you say Troy?" Jackson looked at Troy then back to the bag. Couple minutes of this and everything will disappear. I promise" Jackson took another step towards him shaking the boy. Troy took a deep breath and gave a slight nod. He can't believe he was turning to drugs for the answer. He always swore that he wouldn't turn into that kind of person, but here he was, selling his body and now he was about to take Cocaine.

Jackson smiled and placed the bag on the table and beckoned Troy over. He placed some of the powder onto a piece of paper and pulled out a small piece of paper which had been rolled up. He leant down and placed the rolled up piece of paper near his nose and snorted up the Cocaine. Troy watched the way Jackson covered the other nostril and gave a large sniff. He began having regrets about agreeing to this, but he needed to get rid of the pain that was tearing him apart. Jackson let out a soft sigh and turned back to Troy, a look of relief on his face.

"You sure you want to go through with this Troy?"

Troy nodded, but very weakly and went over to the table. He could feel his heart beginning to beat faster as he watched Jackson pour some more of the powder onto the paper. "Just take it slow OK? Don't sniff to hard"

Troy nodded and took the rolled up piece of paper from Jackson and took a deep breath. He leant down and placed the paper into his nose gently and placed the other end onto the powder. He placed his finger over his other nostril as he had seen Jackson doing and took a small sniff. He could feel the powder entering his blood stream and let out a little sigh. He immediately began to feel better and the more that he took the more the pain that was consuming him, began to wash away.

He looked at Jackson and felt a smile appear on his face. "How do you feel?"

"Much better" Troy replied and it was true. He no longer felt worried about anything and the pain that was earlier consuming him, had disappeared. All that was left was a feeling of contentment and a feeling of belonging.

Jackson smiled at Troy "Told you it would mate", he cleaned up the mess and put the bag back into his pocket. "Let me know when you want some more ok?"

Troy nodded and let out a deep sigh "Wow I feel so much better now. Dude that stuff totally works"

"Yeah. Gives you a great high"

"You know, I don't feel like sitting around here now. You wanna go and do something?" Troy could feel the adrenaline running through his body. He didn't know how long the high was going to last so he wanted to take advantage of it. The blood was pumping through out his body and he wasn't able to stay still.

"I can't sorry Troy. I told Josh that I would clean up some of the rooms for him. They are beginning to look a bit dirty And we can't have that for trade now can we? Go for a jog if you want, we don't need you until 1 today"

Troy nodded. "Sure. If you need me to help you, give me a shout OK?"

"Sure". Troy left Jumpin Jaks and decided that he would go for a jog around the park to work off some of the extra energy that he had obtained from taking the Cocaine. His mind was now a blank and all thoughts of before and what had had him worried were replaced by nothingness. And he liked it.

After a 20 minute jog he made his way back to the club and went upstairs to have a shower. However when he entered the room, he saw the picture of him and Ryan that was on the table and the pain started to return. The effects of the Cocaine was beginning to wear off and Troy's feelings were returning. He went and sat back down on the bed and picked up the picture. It was taken just after they had come out to all of their friends. Ryan was standing in front of Troy and Troy had his arms around his lover, and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. It had been taken by Gabriella in the park.

He could feel tears beginning to form as he thought back to those days. When he was happy, when he had friends and a family that supported him. He wished he could go back to that day, because it was one of the happiest days of his life. But he can't. Instead he was stuck on this day, without his friends, without his family, without Ryan. He swallowed back the tears. He told himself that he wasn't going to cry anymore. He had to be strong. He had to be able to live a life without the people that he loved.

He knew that the effects of the drug had completely worn off now, but this is how it was meant to be. Sure it felt good and it helped to ease the pain, but he didn't want to become dependant on it, didn't want to be the type of person that needed to take it as soon as he woke up. No, he decided that was the only time that he was going to take it. He would deal with the pain and the emptiness, it was an easier way than turning to drugs.

"I'm going to my room" he told Jackson and made his way upstairs. He knew that Jackson would keep offering him some, and he knew that it was going to be hard to say 'No'. Even though he had only tried it once, it was like something had taken a hold of him and wouldn't let go. It had instantly made all his troubles and pain disappear, and he felt something awaken inside him, once he had taken it.

But he didn't want to go back. He had to be strong, for him and for Ryan. He knew that Ryan would not be proud of the things that he was doing, neither would his mother. He didn't want them to know what he was doing, know that he had turned to prostitution and drugs for a life. No that wasn't Troy. The Golden Boy of East High would not live a life like that. But he wasn't the Golden Boy of East High anymore was he? He was just some fag that had gotten together with the Drama King. No the real Troy Bolton had been destroyed. All that was left was an empty shell.

A tear rolled down his cheek and he laid down, hugging the picture close to his chest. All the pain that had disappeared because of the Cocaine returned and Troy let it once again consume him.


	20. Moving On

_Wow, how long has it been since I last updated this thing? 11th April, bloody hell, sorry about that guys. Uni has caused me to lose inspiration and then when I have inspiration I am supposed to be revising (like now) but I took the time off to get this chapter out because once I started writing it, I could not stop. Sorry it is bad, I know my writing is terrible and this proves that. I am hoping to have the fic finished soon, the plans I had for it I am not going to do and I am going to tryan (get it!) get them back together within the next two chapters (not sure when they will be). So please if you are still reading, let me know what you think and hang around for the chapters, I will try and add more between the gap of my exams finishing and my new term starting (think it is about a week). Thanks again. Nice to be back. Charlie_

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**Chapter 19**

When Troy awoke the next morning, he knew what he had to do. He knew that he had to leave Jumping Jacks. He had to find somewhere else to live. Even though they had been kind to take him in, he could not continue living a life of selling his body and he did not want to start a life of drugs. He was better than that, and now it was time to move on. He decided that he would go and see Josh first and then pack his bags, he wasn't sure where he was going but he would find somewhere. But there was one place that he was not going. He could not go back home. He had already hurt them too much and he didn't want to go back, just in case he had to leave again. No his mind was made up – he would stay in this area and maybe find a job but there was no way that he was going back home.

He got into a pair of clean dark blue jeans and a 'Wildcats' t-shirt and made his way downstairs. He was nervous as he made his way to Josh's room – what if he would not let him go? What if this was a life time sentence? You got into it and you couldn't get out again? Troy shook the thoughts away – no Josh was not like that. He helped people, and he would let them go once they had got back on their feet and sorted their life out. Josh would let him go. He was sure of it.

He stopped outside the door and gently knocked. He waited for the response and then took a deep breath and entered. Josh was sat at the table, filling out some paper work for the business, put down his pen and smiled up at Troy. "Good morning, and what can I do for you this morning Troy?"

Troy took a deep breath and went and sat down in the chair in front of the desk. He looked up at Josh and felt a twinge of guilt. After everything that Josh had done for him, here he was, going to tell him that he wanted to leave. "I appreciate everything that you have done for me but I think that it was time that I took control of my own life" Troy could not look at Josh as he said this. He was ashamed. Ashamed that he was throwing everything away that Josh had given him.

Josh let out a small sigh "I knew that this day would come. That you were ready to leave and make your own mark on society" Troy looked at Josh "I always knew that it would only be temporary Troy, I've had boys like you before. Looking for a place to fit in, for people to understand them but after a while this life begins to get to them. They cannot cope but I understand and it's ok. It has been a pleasure having you work for us"

Troy let out a weak smile "Thanks for everything Josh. You have made me realise that I have nothing to be ashamed of and that I am strong enough to cope with the world" he knew that it was a lie, he was not strong enough, if he was he would be able to go back home. Back to the one that he loves, back to his family. But he couldn't. And he hated that about himself. He was not the strong person that everybody thought he was.

"You will be fine Troy. You are strong. Though if you ever want to come back you are welcome." He stood up and went to Troy. He patted him gently on the shoulder and gave him a smile. "You better go pack and say bye to the boys"

Troy nodded and stood up. He took another deep breath and held out his hand to Josh, who took it. "Thanks again Josh. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't have shown up"

"It's fine. I didn't have anyone so that is why I made this place. So that people like you had somewhere to go. It wasn't always like this you know. It used to just be a hostel but over time, due to some of the residents here, it turned into the place it is now and I am thankful. It's very successful. And it still allows me to help people like you, like myself" Josh went back to his desk and turned his attention back to his paper work, which Troy knew was the time for him to go.

Once back inside his bedroom, he pulled out the suitcase that he had brought with him. He then started to gather his things, well the few things that he had with him, and carefully placed them into the case. He heard a soft knock on his door and called to the person to come in as he placed his jeans besides his toiletries. He looked up briefly to see Jackson standing in the doorway, his attention turned to Troy.

"You going?"

Troy nodded and collected the photo from the bedside table. He gently ran his finger over the picture of Ryan and felt his heart miss a beat. He missed him like crazy. Missed everything about him. But he hoped that Ryan would finally move on, that he could find someone who would not be afraid to come out, that could proudly walk down the streets – hand in hand, their love showing. Someone that Troy could not be."Why?" Jackson moved closer to Troy and handed him a towel from the floor and held it out. Troy took it and folded it up before placing it into the case.

"It's time for me to move on. Find my own place, find a job"

"So you're not going back to him then?" Jackson pointed to he photo. Troy knew that Jackson would never call Ryan by his name. It hurt him too much. And he also knew the feelings that Jackson had for him. Troy had feelings for Jackson, strong ones, but not strong enough for Troy to want to be with him. He loved Ryan and he always would and no one could change that. Jackson was there for him when he needed, was there to comfort him and that was what he liked and he would be eternally grateful for that.

Troy shook his head "I can't. Not just yet anyway. I need to be alone"

"I could come with you. We could find somewhere together" Jackson placed a hand on Troy's arm and looked him directly in his eyes with a look of love.

"Jackson.." Troy started.

"Troy, listen. Look you won't go back to...Ryan" Troy knew what it took for him to say the name.

"And I don't like the idea of you being alone. You have nowhere to go and no money, and I do not want you going on the streets again. So let me tell Josh that I am leaving with you and ask to borrow a few hundred dollars to help us out and we can find a small apartment. We could be happy, just give us a chance"

"Jackson. Stop. Look I love everything that you have done for me, and I have loved the time that we have spent together, it has really helped me to calm down but it has also given me time to think. I love Ryan Jackson, I always will. You are a really great guy, and yes I do have feelings for you but I cannot leave Ryan"

"But you have left him Troy. Running away here is leaving him. You are not even going back to him now. I am here Troy. We all are. We are not going to judge you, you fit in here. Please Troy, don't just throw us away"

"I'm sorry Jackson. I truly am. But my feelings for Ryan are stronger and I cannot throw those away. He is my world and I am a coward for not staying and fighting for our relationship, for our love, but one day I will go back. And whether he is in another relationship or not, I still want to be in his life. He has brought out the best in me. But I mean it from the bottom of my heart, thank you" and with that Troy leant in and kissed Jackson fiercely. It felt good. Everything that he had felt over the past few months was put into that kiss – the hurt, the pain, the anger, the happiness, the guilt, the sadness – he put into the kiss.

After he pulled away he smiled at Jackson. "I'll come and see you, don't worry. Tell the guys I'll miss em" he closed the case and made his way to the door. Turning around with one last look at the room, and at Jackson, he gave a small sigh and left. He made his way downstairs thinking about the months that he had spent in Jumpin' Jacks. The friends that he had made, the laughs that he had. He didn't think that he could laugh again after everything he had been through but he had and it was because of the people that he was leaving behind. But he had to. He had to face the world by himself.

He was half way down the staircase, his thoughts on the time that he had taken cocaine and the belief that he had when he heard it. That face. Calling his name. Surely it couldn't be? Troy looked up and couldn't believe what he saw. Ryan. Standing in the doorway. Wet. "Troy"he called with desperation in his voice.


	21. A House is not a Home

**Chapter 20**

Troy stood on the last step and stared at the doorway. It couldn't be. Ryan. His Ryan. Here? He watched as the person looking like his love ran upto him and flung his arms around him. Troy wrapped his arm around the person and could ran his hands over his body. It felt like Ryan. Ryan pulled away and looked at Troy.

"Troy?" Ryan's look was desperate. "Say something. Please" Ryan's voice cracked slightly as he tried to get his boyfriend to speak.

"Ryan?" Troy's voice was weak. His gaze still on this figure in front of him. His mind couldn't grasp that Ryan was in front of him, that he had come to find him. It had to be a trick, it had to be due to the drugs.

"Yeah Troy, it's me" Ryan leant in and pressed his lips to Troy's. The feel of Ryan's lips against his own made Troy snap out of the trance that he was in and come to terms that Ryan was _actually_ there, that he had found him. He kissed Ryan back, using all his energy, wrapping his arms around him as tightly as possible.

After a couple of seconds Ryan pulled back and looked at Troy. And he slapped him, right across the face. He pulled his hand back, shaking it slightly as it stung.

"What the hell was that for?" Troy screamed, shocked that Ryan had just slapped him.

"For leaving me. For coming here. For not calling me" Ryan started to cry as he shouted a reply back to Troy. He couldn't believe he had just slapped him but he couldn't stop himself. He could feel all the anger from the past few months building up inside of him.

"I'm sorry. I needed to be alone. I know I hurt you but I also hurt myself. Not being with you killed me Ryan" Troy placed his hand on his cheek and rubbed gently where he had been slapped. He was impressed though. He never expected Ryan to have such a punch him in. There was more to him than met the eye.

"How do you think I felt Troy? Having to put up with the comments and the bullying at school? Waiting by my phone hoping that maybe, just maybe, you would call letting me know that you were okay"

"I really am sorry Ryan. I didn't mean to hurt you" he gave Ryan a hug and was glad when he didn't pull away. He let out a sigh

"God. It's so good to be in your arms again" he quietly moaned into Ryan's shoulder. He pulled back and looked at the boy in front of him. He had never looked so beautiful to him, even though he looked sullen. He used his thumbs and carefully wiped away his tears, before leaning in and placing his lips on Ryan's.

Ryan complied with the kiss and placed a hand on Troy's cheek. The kiss was heated. All the past months anger, rage, sadness was put into the kiss. After a few minutes they finally pulled apart, breathing quite heavily. They looked at each other and smiled.

"I missed you" Troy breathed heavily.

"I missed you to" Ryan said between breaths. "Come home"

"I – I don't think I can" and it was the truth. He didn't think that he could go back home. He knew that he couldn't stay at Jumping Jacks but he wasn't sure if he could go back to Albuquerque.

"Please Troy. Things have changed. Well mostly, Chad and Jason. They feel terrible about what happened and wanted to apologise. They screwed up. They still want to have you in their lives."

Troy let out a small laugh. That was difficult to believe. The two people who were supposedly his best friends and had turned on him the moment that he had come out as gay. He didn't believe that they had changed. Ryan sensed his doubt.

"I thought that as well, but they really have changed. They have been sticking up for me at school against the few small minded people who still think being gay is an issue"

"Really?" So maybe they had changed, Troy thought to himself but he wasn't sure if that was a good enough reason to go home. There was still his dad. He had tried to kill him for being gay. He didn't know if he could go back to someone who had that much hate for him.

"Your dad has moved out. Your mom kicked him out, no charges were pressed but she told him if he ever came around again she would call the police. So please Troy, I need you. We all do"

Troy could tell the desperation in his voice and nodded. "Sure" Ryan hugged him again and kissed his cheek.

"I love you so much Troy Bolton"

"I love you to Ryan Evans" Troy smiled and placed another kiss on his boyfriend's lips. This was what he was waiting for. That feeling. The one that made him feel safe. Like nothing could hurt him. This was the feeling that he was missing.

"Let's go home" Ryan pulled apart and held out his hand to Troy. Troy nodded and took it and turned with Ryan to leave.

"Troy?" Troy turned around and saw Jackson walking towards them, tears stained his cheeks.

"Jackson. This is Ryan"

"I know. I saw. Please don't go. I love you"


	22. Together Again

"Jackson, don't do this" Troy looked at Jackson and let out a sigh.

"But I do Troy. I don't want you to go" Jackson moved closer to Troy and Troy could see that his eyes pupils were larger than normal. That meant that he had recently taken Cocaine, and Troy guessed that was the reason he was acting this way.

"Jackson. I need to go back home with Ryan. To where I belong"

"So us sleeping together meant nothing to you did it?" Jackson stared at Ryan and then Troy. Ryan looked at Troy, not believing what he was hearing.

Troy made his way to Jackson. "Jackson. I am happy that I met you and that I got to know you but Ryan is who I am meant to be with, Ryan is the person that I love and I cannot hurt him anymore than I already have"

Jackson sighed and sat down "I'm sorry"

Troy sat beside him and took his hand in his own "So am I Jackson. You are a great guy and you are going to find someone who can return your love. Unfortunately that person is not me"

"I wish it was"

"I know you do. And I am sorry it's not, but my heart always has and always will belong to Ryan" he rubbed his tears away and kissed his forehead gently. "Best of luck Jackson

"Good luck Troy" the two hugged and Troy got up and made his way back to Ryan, taking his hand in his own, grabbing his luggage and leaving Jumpin Jaks. For good.

Sat in the car, Ryan turned to Troy. " I cannot believe you would sell yourself. And took drugs" There was definite disappointment in his voice. And Troy didn't blame him. He was ashamed of how he reacted, of the person that he had become.

"I sold myself to keep myself alive. When I first came here I was living on the streets. I was editing scraps from a trash can. I was a mess and that's when Josh found me, and made me an offer that, to be honest at the time, I could not refuse. So I took it and Josh brought me here. It wasn't that bad really, a lot of time men just wanted to talk, mainly about them just discovering they were gay and didn't know what to do or who to talk to"

"Did you sleep with anyone" Ryan's voice was quiet, scared of knowing the answer, but also needing to know the answer.

Troy nodded "A few, but don't worry it was always protected. It was a rule, although not everyone always abided by that rule"

Ryan looked a little pale and looked out of the window. Troy had changed, they could both sense it. He wasn't the person he was before, wasn't the same scared child that had left.

"Ryan?" Troy took his hand "Can we go home please?

Ryan smiled. "Of course"

They drove back.

Happy to have found each other again.


	23. THE END

**Sorry for the long length of time but I have been focusing on the books that I have published to kindle – search for Charlotte L R Kane (Whisper and Tea Time Tales) but due to comments and reviews I decided to wrap the story up. It is not how I planned to have the final chapters but everyone deserves to know how I plan to end it.**

It had been a month since Troy had come home and things had definitely improved. His father had disappeared and no one knew where he had gone, and no one seemed to care. His friends had finally come to accept him and life was becoming easier at school, although there were some comments still slipping beside them but they ignored them.

Knowing that Troy had slept with others was difficult for Ryan, it took him a while to allow Troy to be intimate with him as he was afraid to know the people that he had been with. But Troy was patient and comfortable with him and reassured him that Ryan was the only person that he loved and that part of his life was only to help keep him off the streets.

One night after Ryan and Troy had been intimate, Troy had Ryan wrapped in his arms. He couldn't believe that he had his lover, his soulmate, back in his life. He turned to face Ryan and smiled "I love you, you know?" Ryan smiled back and nodded "I know"

Troy shifted slightly and rummaged around in his jeans pockets. Facing Ryan he placed a soft kiss on his lips "You are my everything Ryan Evans. You are the reason I wake up happy, the reason that I make it through the day, no matter what happened you have been at my side holding my hand and making sure that I am okay. I want to do the same for you so" he opened the velvet box and showed Ryan the golden ring inside "will you marry me?"

Ryan squealed and hugged Troy "OMG yes. Of course I will Troy"

Troy placed the ring on his fiancée's finger and embraced him. Now that he had Ryan with him he would be able to fight anything.


End file.
